Tired

Today is one of those days where I wish I could just be home resting on the couch. I am so unbelievably tired and I am feeling a case of the crankies because of my exhaustion. Layla started with a cold on Saturday. Nothing big, just the usual runny nose and congestion. By yesterday, she started to wheeze a bit and by last night, the poor kid could only sleep 10 -15 minute intervals because she was having trouble breathing and the wheezing had really picked up. She was so tired but just couldn't sleep because she was having a tough time breathing. By 4:30AM we ended up downstairs on the couch doing another breathing treatment. This worked for about 30 minutes and then the wheezing came back.

Needless to say, we just got back from the Pediatrician's. Her oxygen was running at only 92 / 93. They gave her an immediate dose of Prednisone and had us do another breathing treatment in the office. Upon hearing the pure hell we go through with her and the treatments, the doctor handed us an inhaler with a long cylinder to use instead. Praise the Lord! (Billy literally has to hold her down and causes red marks on her because she screams and tries to get free. The whole time she is begging for me to help her and it is pure torture. Nothing I say or do will calm her and at times I have to walk away so I don't cry. Yesterday, I literally put the vacuum cleaner on so I couldn't hear her begging for me to help her. That right there, is the WORST feeling in the world for me!) It is the longest 8 minutes of my life sometimes and I am grateful that we have this inhaler now. She will also have to go on Flovent on Sunday when she has her last dose of Prednisone and she will have to be on this through the season change. Once this episode calms down, the doctor would like to have her on Singulair as well. On top of this, she has an ear infection and will be on Zithromax for that. We will be back for a visit on Friday so that they can check her oxygen levels and make sure the meds are doing their job. Last but not least, the doctor strongly recommended us finding a new home for Leo the Lion Cat. How on earth am I going to do this for a cat that is 12 years old and has been with me since he was a baby? How can I not do it if it would help Layla? I am so confused. I had asked this question up in Boston to the Allergist and he told me not to worry, that even if we got rid of Leo, the pet dander would be around for years to come because you can never fully get rid of it. Who do I listen to? What do I do?

Moreover, we are trying to get her endoscopy scheduled to figure out the cause of her esophagus issues and I don't believe we will be able to do this for some time now until her breathing is better and this episode has calmed. There is no way I can put her under anesthesia with breathing issues and I don't believe they would even entertain the thought anyhow. So it looks like we will be putting that off for a bit longer.

Like Reanna, they cant diagnose Layla with asthma because these episodes would have to continue on for them to do so. This all started with the RSV and she could have flare ups for a year or not. She could still have issues in 3 years and she could have issues when she is 6. It is all on a wait and see basis at this point. (Not very comforting to me however!) I could kick myself in the A%& because had I not sent her to daycare, this would have never happened. I thought I was doing the right thing by socializing her one day a week with kids her age and instead, I exposed her to this. As if she needed something else to hinder her health. I feel fully responsible and I hate seeing her sick ALL THE TIME! How I wish I had made a different decision. How I wish I didn't have to watch her go through all of this. I pray that she will get better quickly and a few months down the road this will all be just a distant memory as she is building her sandcastles on the beach! For now, I am just looking forward to getting out of work and snuggling her tight on the couch!

My Hannah Funny: She got in the car from school the other day and said, "Mom, I did a kind deed today." I told her I thought that was great and asked her what she did. She told me that she bought her and her friend Nya a snack at lunch time. I told her that was very kind, but then asked her where she got the money to do so to which she replied, "Oh, I just told the lunch lady to add it to my check." HMMMMMM Thinking I better give the school secretary a call to find out how much Hannah's tab is over in lunch land!!!

I am posting a video of Layla from the other day. It truly cracks me up and I could watch it over and over again!