Part of you will always remember...

Tonight Billy wanted to go to the movies to see The Smurf movie. Love The Smurfs! Even had a Smurf stuffed animal at one point in time! Yet I knew baby Cam would never last through the movie. (My suspicions were right when he was trying to fall asleep in the tub at 6:30!). Billy doesn't get to do these things often with the girls so we decided it would be best if he took them to the movie. Sigh... It did give me some alone time which quite frankly I had no idea what to do with. With Cam fast asleep by 6:45pm, I started channel surfing and happened to come across the movie, The Notebook. I have somehow avoided this movie for years. Recently some close friends have recommended it. I have put it off because I didn't think I could get through it but tonight, something made me press play. All I can say is that I thought I was prepared and certainly strong enough to get through it. I was wrong. I don't remember the last time I have cried...well sobbed hysterically, like I did tonight. I don't think I shall ever love a movie the way I do this one. Those of you who truly "know" me, know why.

As depressed as I am feeling at the moment, I also know that life is beautiful. You need to remind yourself of that. Take a step back and look at all the blessings that surround you. I have three gorgeous babies. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful family. We are so close. All of us. I love the way we all look out for each other and are there for each other. Nothing will ever break that. No one could even come close to breaking that. There are always going to be bumps along the road but as they say, God only gives you what He knows you can handle. I promise, I will always remember. Sorry in advance for the "cryptic" post, but like I said before, those very few of you who truly know me know what the post is about. I promise, I will always remember and be grateful for the memories.

Supporting Michael

How do I even begin?   I am still so overwhelmed with emotion about meeting the Cotrone Family and little Michael in particular.  Friday evening was the fundraiser and I had been contacted months ago via a High School friend, Alison Armstrong.. now Oliver (but she'll always bee Armstrong to me) if it was something I was interested in donating photography services to.  The word "No" was not in my vocabulary.  It wasn't even a thought in my brain.  Immediately, I thought about all the blogs I follow about children fighting cancer.  How these families, even though I don't and will probably never know them, have touched my life in a way I don't think I could ever explain.  How their words have moved me.  How I have cried with these families as if they were my own.  As if I had known them for a gazillion years.  These blogs have taught me so much about my life.  Most of all they have taught me how to appreciate every single blessing in my life.  No matter how big or small.  That even though I may be going through some bumps along the road, nothing could be worse than experiencing your child battle cancer.  These "strangers" have changed me as a person.  I remember reading Layla Grace Marsh's mother's post about how she wished she had not been always in such a rush.  Using an example about when her little Layla use to be in the way when she was trying to empty the dishwasher and how Layla would be under feet as she tried to get chores done. ...  And then when Layla flew home to be with the angels, how she would give anything to have her Layla back to be under her feet again.  How she wished those things hadn't gotten to her.   I remember thinking how I would go through the exact same situation and be frustrated because I was in a hurry to get this chore done and kids were under my feet.  After reading Shanna Marsh's post, how I have learned to enjoy those moments that can easily turn into frustrating ones.  Cameron helps me every day empty the dishwasher now.  And although I may rush to get the knives out so he doesn't get hurt, I ENJOY chasing after flying forks and spoons, sippy cups and plates as he hums them across the kitchen floor!

So when Alison contacted me I knew this was my chance to give back when previously I had felt so helpless in this cancer world.  I have three, gorgeous, healthy babies.  They weren't always healthy and we have had our share of heartache with their health, but they are cancer free.  Today they are healthy.  I am not naive enough to know that this could all change in an instant.  So instead, I continue to count my blessings and make each day count.  I was honored and thrilled to be a part of this event!  I felt grateful to be able to do something to help this local family that I had never met.  So many of my friends and family jumped on board and helped with donations and gift certificates that I was proud to call these people my friends.  It seems as though you turn on the news or open up a newspaper and hear so much about what is wrong with this world.  Very rarely do you hear all that is good in this world.  Guess what though?  There ARE good people in this world.  Who care and who realize how great the feeling of giving back is!  I am lucky to know so many of these people and the word, "thank you" can not even begin to express the gratitude I have towards them. 

From the second I approached Erin, (Michael's Auntie whom ran the entire event) and she gave me a great, big, giant squeeze hug, I knew this was where I was meant to be.  The event was for lack of a better word. AWESOME from beginning to end.  From all of the attractions for the kids, face painting, tattooing, caricatures, to the bright PINK firetruck and police cars that came in support of Michael.  It was all just plain awesome!  The raffle prizes, the music, the UNBELIEVABLE cake, the smiles on every one's face, the kids dancing and playing.  These were the moments to soak up.  Michael's entrance to the event was nothing short of movie stardom and Erin took so much time to think everything out so completely, that there was no stone unturned.  I can honestly say that I don't think one person could have walked away from that event saying, "Oh we should have done this.."  because it was all there.  All there in an enormous display and outpouring of love for a family. 

Perhaps one of my favorite moments in the evening was actually meeting Michael and saying hello.  Having Shannon introduce herself and pose for a photo with Michael.  It was a bit overwhelming for me to take that photograph knowing that Shannon is a two time breast cancer survivor and this little twelve year old boy is going through some of the exact same things she had to endure.  Yet it was also bittersweet because Shannon is a survivor and I took it as a sign that Michael will be too.  He will beat this demon.  I overheard his Mother in the bathroom talking to some friends about how anything and everything that could have gone wrong, has gone wrong with Michael.  How it is normal to get blood clots in your legs while undergoing his cancer treatments and how Michael ended up with blood clots on the brain.  This hit home for me and those of you who know what I went through with Hannah know why it hit home.  All I can say is that my Hannah is one tough, little cookie for going through what she did and I pray that Michael too, will continue to gain strength through his journey.  If anything, Friday night proved as a true source of strength to be gained by the display of love for this one little boy and his family.

Billy, who is my rock, solid, show no emotion husband.. (and me quite the opposite) was touched by the event. He thoroughly enjoyed bringing the kids and watching them enjoy the celebration.  Thank you GOD for keeping them on their best behavior!  I thanked him several times for supporting me and rushing home from work to get the kids dressed and to the event.  For supporting something that I have become so passionate about.  Each time I thanked him, he responded by saying there was nothing to thank him for.  He was glad to be there and glad to be supporting a great cause.  For those of you who know Billy, these words don't often exit his mouth.  Knowing that Michael had touched his heart, melted mine.

I think the only thing left to say is how close I felt to this family even though this is the only time our paths have ever crossed.  I come from a tight knit, extremely close Italian family and I remember being perplexed growing up noticing that not all families were like mine.  As we grew older and our friends' parents' became our parent's friends, we realized that we had somehow surrounded ourselves with people who were like us in this aspect.  My inlaws are much the same.  Family comes first.  Family, is the most important thing in life.  Without family, you have nothing.  From the moment I walked through the doors at Kirkbrae, it was quite evident that this family, was much like my own.  For a sister to give so much of herself, her time, her love to support her brother, his family, his son, is the true definition of love for a family.  Beyond words. 

Michael, little man.  Stay strong.  Stay positive.  Continue to surround yourself with your loving family and loving friends.  You had so many of your buddies there supporting you that it brought fresh tears to my eyes.  You have chosen some really great people to be your sidekicks through this.  Continue to draw your strength from them.  My wish for you is that you can somehow keep some of the innocence in life that you so deserve.  That this journey will help you grow and learn but that you still keep your inner child at heart.  Many prayers coming your way and know that you and your family are thought about often.  It was an honor and a privilege to meet you.  In the end, I look forward to the "Michael kicked cancer's a$$" party!!!! 

For more pictures of Michael's event, please visit www.KerriMurphy.smugmug.com

"From what we get, we can make a living;



what we give, however, makes a life."

Sweet baby Layla

Yes she is still my baby, even though she will soon be approaching 4 years old. While Hannah always seemed older than her age, my Layla is the opposite. She still has so many younger qualities that I sometimes forget that she is growing up so quickly. She has been quite the cuddle bug lately and I am eating her up. The other night she told me to put my head in her lap and she caressed my face. She is just the most precious thing. She has been on her best behavior and has been such a good little bean... despite the regression in potty training. She'll come out with these crazy things. I was washing dishes the other morning and she says out of the blue, "Hey GORGEOUS!" I mean, how can you not eat her up alive? She is starting to take an interest in learning... starting. We have been working on the Alphabet and Numbers and her name. She has no desire to write however. I am hoping that Preschool will help us with this. I know every child learns at their own pace so I am not really concerned. She knows her colors and can count to 14... before she will insert an eleventeen. How I have missed the "eleventeen"! Hannah did the exact same thing. She knows many of the shapes and can draw a circle so again, I am not worried. For the most part I just enjoy soaking up all the love this child brings me. It is bountiful.


Anyhow, this little munchkin has seemed to have caught a virus. In the middle of summer, the bug has 105.2 fever. The poor darling is a bit delirious and keeps saying, "I can't do this." I so hate when they are sick and it seems as though I am helpless. I am hoping the Motrin takes affect quickly and she can at least feel a bit better. She and the Chubba Luv started the virus on Sunday. The fact that she took a nap on the beach for over two hours was my first clue. When she woke, she felt warm so I packed them up and headed home. I could tell Cam was off as well and they both ended up with 102 fevers. Cam's seems to have broken, or at least he did not feel warm throughout the night. He was up several times and couldn't get back to sleep. I woke up to Layla crying and I asked Billy to put her in our bed as he was getting up for work. As soon as he put her in my arms I could tell she was burning up. I looked at the clock and it was 6:00AM. Layla does not rise before 8:00AM unless I wake her. Poor sweet baby.

I have her on the couch wrapped up in a blanket watching Scooby Doo. Her favorite. I am waiting for Chubba Luv to wake up so I can check him and see if he still has a fever. He never sleeps this late, but with being up so much during the night, I am hoping he gets all the rest he needs. Hannah is downstairs creating masterpieces with her new art supplies. Hoping to keep her safe from the germs. I have a busy day, or was supposed to. I told Mom I would pick her up and bring her over for the day and then take her to her hair appointment while I went into the office to get some work done. Hannah starts Hip Hop tonight and then I have a meeting at 7:30. In the words of Scooby... ZOINKS! I think I might be operating in Zombie Mode today, so forgive me if I babble and don't make sense! Wait... don't I do that every day?

Loving on the beans

This week has totally come in and saved the day!  We had a GREAT week and I am so thankful and so blessed to have enjoyed many little miracle moments with these beans of mine.  The week prior had been a bit of an adjustment with taking three kids to work and making it work for all of us.  Add in just a few other responsibilities and my lack of patience got the best of me.  Not this week.  This week ROCKED!  Maybe it was because the week was centered around my Meatball's 7th Birthday or maybe it was because I am now in a routine.  Either way, it rocked and I'm grateful!


Hannah had such a great week and she has been on her best behavior!  Thankfully because that little girl had been getting a bit of a fresh mouth the week prior.  All of her birthday celebrations were a blast.  From her Makenzie, Arielle sleepover to her Rockin' Roller Skating party.  Baby, Baby, OH was her cake a delight and she could not have had a bigger smile on her face.  This week was full of FUN and we enjoyed every single second of it.  My new routine of getting up at 5:00AM to walk also allowed me to have extra time to get things done (laundry, dishes, etc..) in the morning and therefore I was able to soak up the kids all the more.  I am so not a 5:00AM girl, but I am learning to be.  Now if I can just learn to get my butt in bed earlier I would be all set!


I found time to love on each of these bugs separately this week and it warmed my soul.  From showering Hannah with birthday love and having her crawl into my bed and snuggle up close, to having Layla climb up on my lap so I could sing to her while she hugged and kissed me, to rocking my baby boy and teaching him how to blow kisses... I took the time to take in these moments and realize how special they are.  Have I mentioned that I now have a WALKING baby boy?  He wins the award for being the youngest to walk.  Hannah was 13 and a half months and Layla was 14 months.  What I wouldn't do to freeze these moments in time.  I just keep praying to God that He gives me all the time in the world with my love bugs.  Please just let it stay the way it is.  This world can be such a cruel, cruel place.  If you turn on the news there are horrible, awful stories of horrible, awful things happening to children.  If you you follow any of the same child cancer blogs that I do, you see that there are too many parents dealing with the cruel loss of a child or watching their child suffer and all they can do is watch helplessly.  These awful things happen to good people.  Good people who cherish their children.  I'm not naive to know that I am safe from any of this.  I just pray that the Lord keeps us all healthy and keeps my blessings safe from any harm.  They are my life.  My world. I don't exist without them.  Sometimes you have to remind yourself that the best gifts you have, are right in front of your face.  I use the blogs I read about these cancer warriors to keep me grounded and remind me of this. 

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Hannah's HOT HOT Birthday!

I can't believe that my first born is 7 today.  SEVEN!  How on God's green earth did SEVEN whole years fly by so quickly?  I swear I can remember her birth like it was just yesterday.  Her teeny, tiny little 5lb body that was too small for preemie clothes.  My very first look at what life was really all about.  My miracle baby who defied all the odds and beat a life threatening circumstance.  Now I look at her and I can hardly make out the little girl in her anymore.  She is seven going on seventeen and what I wouldnt do to have my little girl back.  I know growing up is a part of life.  I should be ecstatic that she is a healthy, happy meatball.  Yet, it always depresses me to know that in just a few short years, we will approach the age where she will want nothing to do with me.  I just want to keep her MINE forever.  Can I do that?  Because I want to so badly.


However, my SEVEN year old is truly having a blast today on this almost 100 degree day!  Miss Layla cakes and I sang her Happy Birthday over a candle lit cupcake for breakfast this morning.  She blew the candle out so quickly that I told her she forgot to make a wish!  So we lit it again and she made her wish inside her head... to which I said, "NO Hannah.. you CANT meet Justin Bieber."  She said, "How did you know that was my wish?"  LOL  I totally freaked her out.  Miss Makenzie came over to hang with us today as Hannah's special Birthday Friend and we headed out to buy the banana a birthday outfit for her roller skating party tomorrow.  My glitz and glamour girl chose a sparkly skirt with leggins and a JB T-shirt.. but of course.  Then we got her a birthday crown at Claire's which she has been traipsing all around in today.  We headed to Target to meet Auntie Ju Ju, Nonnie and the baby cousins.  Auntie Ju Ju had her pick out some art supplies and an art organizer bin.  Hannah was thrilled since art is her favorite pastime.  From Target we headed over to Newport Creamery for lunch where we met Grammy, Auntie Leanne and the rest of her little cousins.  Eight kids all together.. and they were good as pie!  Except the very last couple of minutes when we were getting up to leave and all eight of them began to cry in unison.  We had the place laughing their pants off because it was so comical.  From there we actually squeaked in a quick trip to Stop and Shop for Han's Birthday cake.  I now had 5 kids as cousin Arielle hopped in with us... one was a very tired little baby boy who still somehow managed to be pleasant for our quick little errand.  I swear it is a gazillion times easier having 5 kids than 3.  They entertain each other and keep each other so happy.  People kept staring at me in the market thinking I was some crazy woman having 5 kids... but seriously, I traipsed around proud to have these 5 with me.  It helped that they were good as gold and I looked like the mother who had it all under control!  LOL  It felt powerful I tell ya!  I've got to talk to Billy about ending at 3.  LOL


Tonight we are having a little birthday cake for Han and Nonnie and Papa and Grammy and Grampy are heading over.   It should be the perfect ending to a 7 year old girl's birthday!  I am so lucky and so blessed to have this dancing queen in my life.  I thank God every day for sending her to me and changing my life forever.  My princess, I wish you a lifetime of perfect health and an abundance of happiness!  I love you Hannah Banana Meatball!!!!  To the moon and the stars and BACK!

Layla was crying because she wanted to be in CHARGE!  LOL

All 8 of em!

I was folding laundry the other day and walked into the kitchen to put the kitchen towels away and came back to this.  I mean... could he be any cuter?????????

Happy 4th 2011

We survived our 4th and we hope you did too!  We stayed pretty local for most of the weekend since the Chubba Luv had a bout with 5th's Disease virus.  The rash went away pretty quickly, but his fussiness remained a bit.  I am thinking that this is due to some more chompers that may be making their way down.  I hate to even call his behavior "fussy" because he is such a good baby.  It's more that I can tell when he is "off" because he wants to be held and will tend to cry more often.  Today he most definitely seems more like himself and has actually been taking more and more steps.  He is so darn cute and proud of himself when this happens.  He makes sure that I am watching him and looks for me after his accomplishment and flashes me that toothy smile of his.  It is beyond adorable!


The sad part about our weekend is that we somehow missed fireworks.  I am pretty bummed out about this.  4th of July doesnt seem complete without the enjoyment and the boom of fireworks.  It just didnt seem to work out so that we could get to any.  Friday was out of the question with Cam being sick and he received his 1 year shots so I knew it would be off to bed early for him.  So we missed the beach fireworks.  Our town didnt have them this year which I think is pretty lame.  I realize there is a budget issue, but still... how can you not have fireworks???   I guess if you dont have the money, then you can't buy them.  I get it, but I still think it's lame!  LOL


Friday we ended up having a movie night and the girls were thrilled to have Daddy home before bedtime for the first time in ions.  He promised Hannah a movie night so we sat and snuggled up to watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2".  Cute.  I actually liked it better than the first.  Daddy pulled out all the stops and showered them with cheese balls, chips, ice cream and pretzels.  Needless to say that bedtime was a little delayed! 


Saturday I was itching to get out of the house with them just for a bit.  I knew Cam still wasnt feeling well, but I couldnt spend the entire gorgeous day cooped up in the house.  Seeing that I have a banana about to turn SEVEN years old and we had previously discussed her getting her ear's pierced for this birthday, we decided that would be the perfect outing we needed.  I also had some things to return from Cameron's birthday so we headed out to the Commons.  Hannah was a riot.  She wanted to get her ears pierced so badly, but she was also terrified.  I kept telling her we could wait.  There was still plenty of time.  But no, she insisted and after deciding it was best to sit on Mommy's lap during the procedure, she did it!  I was so proud of her and so happy to have this moment with her.  I can't believe the time had finally arrived that I felt she was old enough to do this.  I always said that I wanted her to be old enough to acknowledge that it was "special."  Christ, my Dad made me wait til I was thirteen and if he had his way I would have been twenty-two.  I felt the time was right for Han.  I felt like she needed that something to make her feel special since she has been such a big help with the little ones and is just growing up on me.  Needless to say they look adorable and I really love the aqua blue flower earrings she chose.  She is doing great with cleaning the area three times a day.  I can't help but keep staring at her. 


Saturday night we went out to eat and it was a disaster from the start.  We headed out late and by the time we chose a place to eat, the kids were starving and melting down.  We decided on Tortilla Flats and the waitstaff was slow which made everything worse.  The people surrounding us were loud and obnoxious and saying very off key things with the children being in ear shot.  (What the hell is wrong with people sometimes?  I mean, even as a twenty something, I knew enough not to curse in a restaurant where children were or talk about SEX excrutiatingly loud either!  Seriously?  I was disgusted with these people!)   Both Billy and I were ticked and I left to take Cameron to the car even before I finished eating.  I didnt miss much because the food was horrible and Billy couldnt wait to get out of there either.  Bad choice on my part, but at least now we know.  I think at one point I felt like I was juggling a circus act while trying to keep Cameron from screaming and jumping out of the highchair, trying to keep Layla from doing potty in her pants while fighting with Hannah all while catching airborne pens, markers and crayons.  It wasnt their fault.  It was late and we should have planned better.  Although the restaurant service totally compounded the meltdowns.   


Sunday we spent out and about the yard and catching up with cleaning and laundry.  I really didnt have the energy to do much more.  I dont know what has gotten into me lately but I am feeling really down in the dumps about myself.  Could I be going through a mid life crisis early?  Who knows!  It's silly and stupid, but lately I feel so matronly and slumpish.  I feel like I put everyone else before me and I have ALWAYS been happy to do so, but lately, I am getting the itch to do some things for myself.  It's an entirely different feeling for me because I always felt like I was suffocating if I would spend five minutes without the kids.  I hated it and would often be an anxious mess to leave them for any period of time.  Something has changed and I just sort of want to find ME again.  It is SOOO hard with Billy's work schedule, but I have to really try and do some things for myself to make me feel better about myself.  I use to be so in tuned to keeping up my appearance and I want to get that pizazz back.  I want to feel good about myself and happy with myself.  In the end, I know this will make me a better mother and a better wife.  So I have set some goals for myself.  I am hoping to keep these little promises to myself so that I can get back on track. 


Yesterday we headed down to RCB to meet up with my family down the beach house.  The weather cleared nicely and we spent a gorgeous day soaking up the rays and playing with all the kiddos.  I love days like this.  Some people think it is chaos, but I truly eat it up.  I enjoy seeing the kids playing with their cousins and knowing that in the years to come they will be the best of friends.  I had certainly missed my sister after not seeing her for an entire week and spending some time with her also helped to put a smile on my face.  As the evening approached, Mr. Mikey made us a fantabulous dinner.  Even the kids ate it up which was surprising to me since they can be relatively picky with meals.  We cleaned up and got ready for the RCB Pots and Pans Parade.  I freaking love this parade.  I love dressing up the kids and I love watching their faces squeal with delight.  I love seeing the longtime residents waving to the kids and smiling.  It's just down right awesomeness and this year proved no less.  Cameron got a huge kick out of it and any occasion to make some noise, he takes advantage of!  All of the kids had a blast and thoroughly enjoyed the ice cream treats afterwards.  We cleaned them up and got them home to bed.  Layla fell asleep on the ride home which made it for an easy bed time!   


So all in all it was a nice weekend even though I didnt get to see my fireworks.  We are going to have to plan a bit better for next year.  So many plans so little time!  xo

Taking it all in

The summer has officially begun and we are rolling with it.  While it truly stinks to have to work this summer as opposed to being on Maternity Leave last summer, we are still finding ways to make it rock!  The girls did AWESOME in their recital, as I knew they would.  I am so in awe of Hannah and how much she has matured this year with dance.  She was front and center in her routines and I was so proud to be watching her every move.  Reliving my childhood.  Layla was a hoot.  That is probably an understatement.  She was so darn cute and her mannerisms during her performance were priceless.  Perhaps the most priceless of all was during the finale when the curtain opened and she was right up front facing backwards.  Once she heard the laughter, she turned around and laughed too.  Then, somehow she spotted Papa and that was it.  She spent the rest of the finale screaming out to him and waving frantically, "HI PAPA!"  Can't wait to receive the video and watch it over and over again. 

After the recital we headed out to lunch with Daddy and then came home to give Cameron a nap and pack the car back up for the beach.  The four of us (Daddy stayed behind) headed down to RCB around dinner time.  The weather was perfect and we were all excited to have the house to ourselves for the weekend.  We got settled in and had dinner on the deck overlooking the ocean.  Hannah and Layla were so rived up though that it took forever to get them settled into bed that evening.Cameron also had a tough time falling asleep which is so unlike him.  I worried that he had an ear infection.  Finally after everyone's eyes closed, I went on the deck and enjoyed some "me" time.  I listened to the roaring waves crash and I made my wishes amongst the glowing stars.  How I love the beach at night.  It's so peaceful and calming for me.  Cameron woke up crying and I rocked him on the deck for an hour.  He just nestled in my arms and would look up at me and flash me a smile every now and again to show me that he loved me.  God I love him. 

We spent Sunday on the beach before Daddy came to meet us and we headed over to Galilee.  We ate at George's, one of my favorite places and while we ate outside I began to get sad over the vacation I was missing.  My favorite Block Island vacation.  It just wasn't in the cards this year since we had taken our Disney vacation in February.  There are so many of us now that we would have needed our own place, but RATS how I wish we were out there.  This was the first summer in over 10 years that we haven't taken our week's vacation there.  I decided to see if I could make a ferry reservation for a day with the car.  Low and behold, there were Monday spots available so we decided to head to our favorite Island.  We gave Miss Julie Moolie fresh tears upon us running up to the deck to surprise her for the day.  It was the medicine we surely needed and we managed to jam pack our day with all the things we usually do during the entire vacation week.  From the beach, to the playground, to Star Market for our Croc's and sweatshirts.. we fit it in and Mommy even got to have her Banana Mudslide at Champlins!  It was the PERFECT day and we all soaked it up as much as possible.  It was hard to leave and hard to say goodbye to our family and chosen families.  We did with some tears shed, but at least we were able to see our favorite Island for just one day.  We've begun a fund for next year so that we may rent our own place and be back where we belong.  Hannah has already made $10 and has put it in an envelope to contribute.  She'll go to ask for something in a store and then say, "Oh no, forget it Mom, We'll save that money for Block Island."  Poor bug..she is really missing her favorite place.

After leaving the beach house Tuesday morning and heading to work for the day, we had Mr. Nicholas's 7th Birthday Party.  I dropped Cam off with Grammy and we headed to the movie theater.  We partied at Papa Gino's first and then settled into the theater to watch Car's 2.  I LOVED it.  Everyone else said they liked the first one better, but I really enjoyed this one.  Maybe it is because I am so used to girl movies that I get a kick out of little boy's movie's now?  Hmmm???  Anyhow, I loved it and we all had a blast.  Nicholas certainly enjoyed his evening and he LOVED his hockey net courtesy of the Murphy's and Lambrese's.  By this point the kids were exhausted and went to sleep quite easily.

Yesterday we fit in a walk to the park and to Cool Lick's after work.  It felt good to be out and about walking with the kids, even though Hannah complained the entire way.  We've got to get her back into shape for hockey!  I thought the hard play in the park and the long walk would zonk them out, but at one point in the night, Billy and I awoke to the two little princesses in our bed.  I vaguely remember changing Layla's pull-up during the night and practically falling off the side of the bed with no room.  (The good thing about sleeping pills is that you can function in Zombie Land and not remember much.)

Cameron had his 1 year appointment today and he did great.  Well... aside from the fact that he has 5th's Disease.  Common I know and will go away, but there is the answer to his fussiness over the past week or so.  OYE!  There goes our fun filled Holiday Weekend!  lol  I am sure we will still fit in some fun events!  He is 22.5 lbs, at one year and that seems to be the record for the biggest at this age.  Hannah was 20lbs even and Layla was lucky to be 16lbs at this age!  He is going to catch up to her soon.  He did grow and inch, so maybe, just maybe, he will start sprouting up in the height department.  He did excellent with his shots and barely made a fuss at all.  He is just so easy, despite the fact that at any given moment he is into everything and all over the place.  It comes with the age and I wouldn't change a thing.  I love having this baby boy to keep me laughing throughout my days. 


For those of you who don't know, my parent's house is on the market.  There is so much to say on this subject that I am unable to say.  I support my father 100% in this decision because I know it makes sense and is the "right" thing to do.  However, I am not going to lie and say that it isn't breaking my heart into pieces to be faced with losing this piece of my childhood.  I thought there would be more time.  I thought there would be a few more years so that Billy and I would be financially secure enough to buy it.  I am still holding onto a miracle that something will fall into place and we will take up residence where I had the most beautiful childhood any kid could ask for.  I am not ready to say goodbye to this house and the memories that go along with it.  I'd like to hold onto them just a bit longer.  I can't promise you that if someone makes a good offer, I wont try and sabotage it.  Just warning you now.  I'll be the Jan Brady chaining herself to the tree...   Miranda Lambert's "The House That Built Me" has been haunting me all week.  Don't put it past me to do something drastic! LOL  I am not the same goody two shoes I once was for Pete's sake!