Dancing in September

I can finally feel things beginning to calm down.  It feels good.  We had a good weekend.  We tried to do as many things as we could to just feel "normal" in between the chaos and I do believe it helped.  I picked the kids up from school on Friday and I don't think Layla could have been more excited to see me.  She jumped up from her nap mat and threw her arms around me and practically cried from excitement.  I get so much love from this boog.  We went to pick up Hannah and I let the kids play at the school playground for a little while since the weather was nice.  We then went home and the girls helped me make meatballs.  Flat meatballs per Layla's request.  Not sure where that one came from but we had a pot full of flat meatballs for dinner time becasue Layla said so! LOL  I also made a lasagna and it felt so good to just be home, cooking with the girls.  I let them stay up late and we snuggled in bed together and watched Nemo. 

Saturday we woke up with no crazy morning schedule.  Ahhh it felt good!  We took our time and I made the girls homemade waffles.  We got to be lazy and I loved every minute of it.  By mid morning we headed over to Nonnie and Papa's and continued the packing and unpacking.  The kids were a bit restless and I tried my best to keep them entertained while helping Mom and Dad.  I feel bad for them under these circumstances because it is not their fault.  They are bored and want my attention.  I find it sometimes difficult to split my attention under these circumstances where I am trying to be there for Mom and Dad and yet be a mother to my kids.  We left around 4 and I headed home to jump in the shower before heading down the beach to do a photo shoot.  Billy made it home from work just in time to watch Cameron and the girls and I drove down to our RCB for the first time since Hurricane Irene hit.  Thankfully the beach was still in tact as was our little piece of heaven.  I fed the girls and then hit the beach to do a fun family shoot for our beach friends the Kanaczet Family.  I got some great shots of this adorable family!  I hope they like them as much as I do!  After the shoot we headed over to Patsy and Oj's for a drink and then off to see SANTA!  Yes, Santa was at the beach in September.  It was very cute and the first time I have been down there for this event.  The kids were excited and Hannah got to ask for her electric guitar and Layla her drums.  (God help our house come December 25th!)  Layla also got to tell Santa she loved him.  I wish Cam were with us because I would have loved to see his reaction.  We hit the road home late and the girls fell fast asleep in the car. 

Sunday I left the kids with Billy for a little while so I could run and help my parents some more.  Pack, unpack, throw out, pack, unpack, throw out.  God help me come the day that I have to move.  Years and years of memories we went through.  SO many things I had forgotten about but were reminded of while packing.  So many little trinkets that would spark memories of the holidays and gatherings at my parent's house.  I realize how very blessed I was to have the upbringing that I had.  I have all good memories of my childhood.  My parents made sure of it.  I helped for a few hours and then headed back home to get my own house together for my nieces, sister and brother in law.  I had asked them to come by for a small cookout and really just to continue to do the things that keep my stress level down and feel normal.  I put together a macaroni salad and Billy ran to get some hot dogs and hamburgers and we grilled ourselves up a little meal.  The girls had a blast playing with their cousins and Billy and I enjoyed spending some family time with Leanne and Dan.  The girls play so well together and I love having them at our house so we asked Leanne if we could keep them overnight and we got to have a cousins sleepover!  So darn cute they are.  I made them more waffles Monday morning and just got to be silly with them before it was time for me to head back over to Nonnie and Papa's to keep going on the moving.  I told Julie we should open our own moving company after this.  JK Moving Company... and we aren't kidding.  She didn't laugh.  LOL  We are almost there.  They are almost entirely moved.  Things are almost back to "normal" if they were ever normal to begin with.

The girls started dance yesterday.  I feel like the show was just yesterday, but here we were back in the swing of things.  It felt good and the girls seemed to enjoy their classes.  Layla is now in an hour class and I was delighted with how well she paid attention.  Hopefully the dynamic of this group will keep her focused!  Hannah's class is now an hour and a half and she has added jazz to the mix.  She was so excited to now own jazz shoes.  She did great and I was glad to see that her dance friend Mackenzie is back in the group!  Sp both girls now have their classes on Tuesdays which will leave the weekends open for Hannah's hockey.  Let the crazy sports calendar begin!!!  Poor Cam!  We've got to find something for him soon!

I can't believe that we are here in September.  One of my favorite months.  I can't help but say the word and automatically sing, "Do you remember, 21st night of September, Love was changing the mind of pretenders, while chasing the clouds away," by Earth, Wind and Fire. You know what else is so special about September?  It's National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month!  Yes it is!  You all know how passionate I am about helping to find a cure for many childhood cancers.  I am going to continue to be passionate about finding a cure as long as I am on this planet and I am asking for your help as well.  PLEASE consider making a donation.  The smallest amount WILL HELP!  My three favorite donation sites you can find here in honor of Layla Grace Marsh , Ronan Thompson and Michael Cotrone.  These two little angels and cancer warrior are the sole reason why I have decided to light a fire under my butt and get out there and raise awareness.  Maybe you could order a bracelet or even just SPREAD THE WORD!  Throw it up on your facebook status or Tweet about it.  Anything at all... will go a great ways and help save children's lives!  There are so many things you can do to put a smile on a child's face who may be suffering from this disease!  Hannah has been collecting soda tabs all on her own to bring to Hasbro to help raise money for their child cancer ward.  We also put together a bin of toys that we plan to take over to the hospital as well.  These simple things make a difference.. they truly do!  So please jump on board with me and help spread the word this September! 

I'd like to leave with a note to each of my babies letting them know how grateful and thankful I am for them in my life.  They are what get me out of bed every morning.  My three tiny (okay maybe not so tiny anymore) miracles.....

     Cameron.  You are just plain NUTS!  Crazy nuts!  I say this in a good way and I am not complaining at all.  I just have never known either of your sisters to be as crazy as you!  You are all over the place and into everything that most days I find myself running in 3 different directions to just try and keep up with you.  You now try and do pull ups onto the kitchen table.  You are attempting to climb on top of the stove and Daddy found you out in the driveway after taking his eyes off of you for 30 seconds. (SCARY) You opened the front door and walked out!  God bless your 13.5 month old soul!  You are going to be my adventure seeker.. I can see it already.  I love to watch you shape into this little baby boy who is so determined and stubborn.  At the same time you love to laugh, giggle and bang your head into mine, which is your official way of showing me love.  LOL.  I love you baby boy.  I love you for you.  I love you for completing our family and making us a family of five.   I love you crazy!

     Layla.  My Layla cakes.  How lonely these days are without you at the office.  I miss you so much.  I wish you were here with me.  Yet I know you are where you belong.  I have to accept it and try and get my fill of love and hugs from you during the evenings.  Which you thankfully give me plenty of.  You are such a joyful, funny child that I am often laughing at your antics.  You're silly and you're my love bug at the same time.  I love my time at night with you when everyone else is sleeping and the two of us are up giggling and talking.  When you tell me that I'm the bestest Mommy in the whole wide world and how much you love me.  I can tell you are growing up on me, but I am also holding on to that part of you that is still my little Layla baby.  There is still a part of you that loves to be babied and I will take that for as long as I can get it.  I look forward to our Tuesdays and Thursdays when you are here with me.  I can't believe that you are soon approaching your 4th birthday.  How quickly time flies.  I can still remember those first few days with you wrapped up in your purple blanket in the hospital... it seems like just yesterday.  I love you my Layla bug.  My clone.  I love you to infinity and beyond!

     Hannah banana meatball.  SECOND GRADE.  You are in second grade.  How did that happen?  You are so old and mature to me now.  So independent and eccentric.  You march to the beat of a different drummer and I love that about you.  You are a leader.  You seem to like this year in school and I am hoping that this will be a great year for you.  I don't often worry about you because you are such a strong child.  You are my helper of all helpers.  I love how much you come to my rescue and help me with your brother and sister.  You're my early riser.  You wake up happy and rearing to go.  Last night you told me that you were going to get up earlier than me so that you could make me breakfast.  You have such a sweet side to you.  I find you being a bit more affectionate with me.  Last night, while I was laying with you and Layla, you fell asleep holding my hand again.  I hope that you continue this affection because I eat it up and love to give it in return.  I love you my little Rock Star.. I know you are going to do great things in this life.  I can feel it.  I love you meatball... To the moon and stars and back! 

xo

The girls with Santa...

Some shots of the Kanaczet Family



Supporting Michael

How do I even begin?   I am still so overwhelmed with emotion about meeting the Cotrone Family and little Michael in particular.  Friday evening was the fundraiser and I had been contacted months ago via a High School friend, Alison Armstrong.. now Oliver (but she'll always bee Armstrong to me) if it was something I was interested in donating photography services to.  The word "No" was not in my vocabulary.  It wasn't even a thought in my brain.  Immediately, I thought about all the blogs I follow about children fighting cancer.  How these families, even though I don't and will probably never know them, have touched my life in a way I don't think I could ever explain.  How their words have moved me.  How I have cried with these families as if they were my own.  As if I had known them for a gazillion years.  These blogs have taught me so much about my life.  Most of all they have taught me how to appreciate every single blessing in my life.  No matter how big or small.  That even though I may be going through some bumps along the road, nothing could be worse than experiencing your child battle cancer.  These "strangers" have changed me as a person.  I remember reading Layla Grace Marsh's mother's post about how she wished she had not been always in such a rush.  Using an example about when her little Layla use to be in the way when she was trying to empty the dishwasher and how Layla would be under feet as she tried to get chores done. ...  And then when Layla flew home to be with the angels, how she would give anything to have her Layla back to be under her feet again.  How she wished those things hadn't gotten to her.   I remember thinking how I would go through the exact same situation and be frustrated because I was in a hurry to get this chore done and kids were under my feet.  After reading Shanna Marsh's post, how I have learned to enjoy those moments that can easily turn into frustrating ones.  Cameron helps me every day empty the dishwasher now.  And although I may rush to get the knives out so he doesn't get hurt, I ENJOY chasing after flying forks and spoons, sippy cups and plates as he hums them across the kitchen floor!

So when Alison contacted me I knew this was my chance to give back when previously I had felt so helpless in this cancer world.  I have three, gorgeous, healthy babies.  They weren't always healthy and we have had our share of heartache with their health, but they are cancer free.  Today they are healthy.  I am not naive enough to know that this could all change in an instant.  So instead, I continue to count my blessings and make each day count.  I was honored and thrilled to be a part of this event!  I felt grateful to be able to do something to help this local family that I had never met.  So many of my friends and family jumped on board and helped with donations and gift certificates that I was proud to call these people my friends.  It seems as though you turn on the news or open up a newspaper and hear so much about what is wrong with this world.  Very rarely do you hear all that is good in this world.  Guess what though?  There ARE good people in this world.  Who care and who realize how great the feeling of giving back is!  I am lucky to know so many of these people and the word, "thank you" can not even begin to express the gratitude I have towards them. 

From the second I approached Erin, (Michael's Auntie whom ran the entire event) and she gave me a great, big, giant squeeze hug, I knew this was where I was meant to be.  The event was for lack of a better word. AWESOME from beginning to end.  From all of the attractions for the kids, face painting, tattooing, caricatures, to the bright PINK firetruck and police cars that came in support of Michael.  It was all just plain awesome!  The raffle prizes, the music, the UNBELIEVABLE cake, the smiles on every one's face, the kids dancing and playing.  These were the moments to soak up.  Michael's entrance to the event was nothing short of movie stardom and Erin took so much time to think everything out so completely, that there was no stone unturned.  I can honestly say that I don't think one person could have walked away from that event saying, "Oh we should have done this.."  because it was all there.  All there in an enormous display and outpouring of love for a family. 

Perhaps one of my favorite moments in the evening was actually meeting Michael and saying hello.  Having Shannon introduce herself and pose for a photo with Michael.  It was a bit overwhelming for me to take that photograph knowing that Shannon is a two time breast cancer survivor and this little twelve year old boy is going through some of the exact same things she had to endure.  Yet it was also bittersweet because Shannon is a survivor and I took it as a sign that Michael will be too.  He will beat this demon.  I overheard his Mother in the bathroom talking to some friends about how anything and everything that could have gone wrong, has gone wrong with Michael.  How it is normal to get blood clots in your legs while undergoing his cancer treatments and how Michael ended up with blood clots on the brain.  This hit home for me and those of you who know what I went through with Hannah know why it hit home.  All I can say is that my Hannah is one tough, little cookie for going through what she did and I pray that Michael too, will continue to gain strength through his journey.  If anything, Friday night proved as a true source of strength to be gained by the display of love for this one little boy and his family.

Billy, who is my rock, solid, show no emotion husband.. (and me quite the opposite) was touched by the event. He thoroughly enjoyed bringing the kids and watching them enjoy the celebration.  Thank you GOD for keeping them on their best behavior!  I thanked him several times for supporting me and rushing home from work to get the kids dressed and to the event.  For supporting something that I have become so passionate about.  Each time I thanked him, he responded by saying there was nothing to thank him for.  He was glad to be there and glad to be supporting a great cause.  For those of you who know Billy, these words don't often exit his mouth.  Knowing that Michael had touched his heart, melted mine.

I think the only thing left to say is how close I felt to this family even though this is the only time our paths have ever crossed.  I come from a tight knit, extremely close Italian family and I remember being perplexed growing up noticing that not all families were like mine.  As we grew older and our friends' parents' became our parent's friends, we realized that we had somehow surrounded ourselves with people who were like us in this aspect.  My inlaws are much the same.  Family comes first.  Family, is the most important thing in life.  Without family, you have nothing.  From the moment I walked through the doors at Kirkbrae, it was quite evident that this family, was much like my own.  For a sister to give so much of herself, her time, her love to support her brother, his family, his son, is the true definition of love for a family.  Beyond words. 

Michael, little man.  Stay strong.  Stay positive.  Continue to surround yourself with your loving family and loving friends.  You had so many of your buddies there supporting you that it brought fresh tears to my eyes.  You have chosen some really great people to be your sidekicks through this.  Continue to draw your strength from them.  My wish for you is that you can somehow keep some of the innocence in life that you so deserve.  That this journey will help you grow and learn but that you still keep your inner child at heart.  Many prayers coming your way and know that you and your family are thought about often.  It was an honor and a privilege to meet you.  In the end, I look forward to the "Michael kicked cancer's a$$" party!!!! 

For more pictures of Michael's event, please visit www.KerriMurphy.smugmug.com

"From what we get, we can make a living;



what we give, however, makes a life."