Greener pastures only a few days away!

Well hasn't this been the week of up's and down's! Yesterday was such an insane day, I am not even sure where to begin! These past two weeks I have literally had a function or appointment every day after work. I know some people can go about their weeks running around like a chicken with it's head caught off, but I will be honest and say that I totally cant handle it and it stresses me out BIG TIME. To have something every day literally throws us all off schedule and I can never seem to get caught up or organized. The kids get overtired and it all turns into a big vicious circle of a mess. I will not ever pretend to be Superwoman.. it's certainly not me! To boot, Hannah has been off the wall, fresh, unruly, so much so that I couldnt even post because I didnt have anything very nice to say about her. Layla, as well seems to be in a down few weeks although I am not even sure really what is normal for her anymore. I have been trying to add some things back into her diet to see if we can maybe help along some of these food allergies. Some things she can seem to tolerate, other's, instant diarrhea. Needless to say that I had attributed some of her sleepless nights to belly pain compounded by teething.

So as for my ups? Well Lord knows I am so very excited to be heading to my piece of heaven on Saturday for a whole week. Block Island will surely cure my craziness blues! I know I will get everything done although it seems a bit overwhelming at the moment. Moreover, my dear husband bought me my dream stroller. Borrowing his sister's for Hannah's 7 mile BCH walk definitely did the trick and he won us a Bumbleride Indie Twin in Vita (HOT PINK)! We have been in bidding wars with a few strollers for the past several weeks and we are convinced that it is fixed and the owners spike up the bids. So yesterday was much the same. I bid the limit I was allowed and knew I had lost. I went to take Layla to the doctors for a weigh in and I came back to see that Billy had won the stroller??? To my amazement, he was trying to surprise me and bid over what he originally set for a limit. He wanted to see if he could put the stroller on the ferry and send it out to me on the island. IS HE THE BEST OR WHAT? Of course I ruined it by coming back and checking to see how much it sold for and saw his name next to it! All the same, I am THRILLED and cant wait! Finally, a stroller that serves all my needs! I like to walk long distances with the girls and every stroller I owned was horrible. You get what you pay for. I also like to use strollers on the beach and walk the beach and have the kids take their naps. This stroller does it all AND it fits through doorways.. It has complete sun shades and rain gear. I am a girl in all her glory! Did I mention it was HOT PINK? HA!

My downs? Billy informed me at 5:30 last night that he would be leaving for New Hampshire to work the rest of the week out. I was in shock. Yes, he needs to be working as he has hardly had any work and funds are tight. BUT THIS WEEK? I was so counting on him to watch the kids in the evenings so I could get all my errands, cooking and packing done. Moreover, I hate going on vacations without him! This is our ONE vacation a year and once again, I'll be without him. I did get over the shock of it all and saw the bright side .. he is working. AND he did make my lasagna for me as well. Hmmmm He must be going for the husband of the year award!!!

On another down note, I had had it up to my ear drums with the girls unruly behavior and decided to take them to the Treatment Center last night. This after already being to the Pediatrician for a weigh in I figured I would take them and just make sure they were alright seeing as the Block doesn't have the best health care facility out there. Low and behold, both girls had throat and ear infections. Can you stand it? I was totally stunned. This is only Layla's 3rd ear infection and I would have never guessed! Hannah, this is the first time she has ever had an ear infection with the tubes in. WHOA! Thank God I decided to take them. Of course I then I had the Mommy guilt because Hannah has been complaining about not feeling well for over a week now. I just thought she was exaggerating because when you ask her what's wrong, she says her belly, throat, and tooth every time! It's hard to take her seriously. UGH I felt like the worse Mom. So antibiotics are now being administered and I dragged the poor beans to the office today so I could keep on track with my work since I will be out all next week. Needless to say, I now know where the unruly behavior was coming from and had to sit them down and apologize for reprimanding them all week. I returned all the things I took away. Again.. Mommy guilt STINKS!

That's it in a nutshell. I am so anxious to get to that ferry I can hardly contain myself!

Walking for my miracle baby

This past Sunday was our 5th annual Boston Children's Hospital walkathon. We started this tradition five years ago in attempt to give back to this wonderful hospital that was so instrumental in saving my Hannah's life. Once again, the crew put on their walking shoes and completed the 7-mile feat with I do believe our best "time" yet! Might I add that we had 4 children with us ranging from ages 7 months to 5 and all of these girls were complete troopers! Baby Reanna went the whole 7 miles without even stopping for a bottle and only one quick diaper change and she was good as gold. Layla cakes was fantastic and never once got out of the stroller in the 2 hours it took us to cross the finish line. Miss Brenna gave us a lesson in endurance as she kept getting out of the stroller to run her way through the walk. Lastly, Hannah got a kick out of it all and loved the pit stops with snacks the most! We crossed the finish line and all the kids got their medals and were beaming with pride.

The crew changes every year but there are a few walkers that have been with me from the beginning. Julie for one, has done the walk each year with me. Also, Auntie Paula and Andrea have also been with me from day one. Peter and Brenna joined us a few years back as well as Andrea's sister Lori and her husband. This year we had a few new additions, Auntie Jan, Erin and Mikey. It was a great crew and I felt so blessed to have this group share this experience with us. It means the world to me that everyone truly enjoys this day and feels great about giving back to Childrens. The feeling of accomplishment and goodness truly makes the day a huge success.

I would be remiss if I didnt thank all of our supporters as well. Year after year supporters donate to this walk in Hannah's honor. They never seem to hesitate even amidst the difficult financial times! This year, we were blessed to get a huge donation from Anthony and Kristi Romano who chose to donate $500 to this event in lieu of the wedding favors. I was totally floored when I got this phone call on Thursday evening and I am forever grateful for the gift. You have no idea how much this gift will make a difference in a child's life. Thank you, to all of our supporters for being there for us year after year.

As the years purge on, Hannah becomes more and more aware of what she went through as an infant and I have to say that this year I think she really "got it" in terms of all of these people coming together to support this cause in honor of her. She is my little survivor and as I have said many times before, I am blessed. For all that she went through, she is so darn intelligent and spunky! How did I get so lucky? Every year during this event I pass groups of people wearing T-Shirts with pictures of children on them that say, "In Memory Of". Yet, here I am, with my blessing by my side. It is truly a humbling experience. Trust me when I say, I know, I know how blessed I am!

On a final note I just have to add another funny Hannah moment. She decided yesterday that she would tell her class and Preschool teachers that it was her birthday. Apparently she felt as though she was getting jipped in having a summer birthday so the whole class participated in singing Happy Birthday to her and the teachers frantically put together a crown for her to wear. For those of you who may not know, Hannah's birthday is not until July 12th. Yup, and there she was, putting on a show, so that she could get her moment in the spotlight! Only my Hannah Banana!

5 years ago...

Oye.. I know I am being sentimental but there is just nothing I can do about it.. it's in my nature! I just cant believe that in a little over a month my preemie baby will turn 5! Where oh where did 5 years go? Billy and I were so nervous to have a baby and so many things had to be done.. and actually never got done due to her early arrival! And yet, here we stand, almost 5 years later with our lives dramatically changed and all for the better. What nonsense it was to be so scared to have a baby. Normal I know, but now looking back.. complete nonsense! If only we knew then the joy that this little girl was going to bring into our lives. It took us a while to get there and my poor baby endured enough pain to make my stomach turn when I think of it.. but we got passed all that and now here she is.. a little over a month away, from turning five. I have been begging her to turn three instead of five. Why can't we go backwards? Nope she says.. "I'm turning five and then I'm gonna be six and then seven." Oh dear Lord are there drugs for this sorta thing... because I am not dealing well!

After work yesterday we had to run to the Disney Store to pick up a few birthday gifts for the 2 parties we have this weekend for Han's girlfriends. We found these adorable princess nightgowns that had a message about friendship on them. I couldn't resist as they were perfect for the occasion and of course I couldn't deny Hannah one either. For $15 I thought it was a pretty great gift, especially since she had behaved the entire day at the office. It is so difficult not to indulge these little monkeys sometimes even when funds are low.. I have a very hard time saying no, especially after good behavior! Last night I gave the girls their baths and washed Hannah's hair. I took the tags off of the nightgown for her and let her put it on while I went downstairs to feed Layla. Minutes later she came bounding down the stairs and both Billy and I were just taken aback for a minute. We looked at each other and then I said, "OMG she is sooo beautiful!" and he replied, "I KNOW!" It was crazy. The colors of the nightgown against her glowing skin and bouncing curls just literally put us in awe. She's a girl! Not a baby, not a little girl.. but A GIRL! How did this happen? When did this happen???

Her "funny" for the day was when I was reading to her last night and it actually goes along with this whole post. After I got through book #5, she handed me a Cabbage Patch Kid book that my sister and I had shared when we were kids. (I had taken a few books down from the attic as Hannah has a reading list for the summer and I knew I had some of them up there.) Anyhow we open the book and out pop these cards addressed to Julie and I. I opened them up and it took me a minute but then I remembered what they were. Back in the day, the Cabbage Patch kids would receive birthday cards from Xavier Roberts (their creator). So here I am holding these 1st Birthday cards for the twins that Julie and I had owned and here is Hannah with a confused look on her face. It's that look when she scrunches up her nose and turns her head sideways. She then says, "Um Mom, this makes no sense, Cabbage Patch Kids don't grow up. How can they turn one?" I swear this child kills me on a daily basis. You see, me.. I would have been to caught up in my dream world of the Cabbage Patch Kid maybe coming to life to even question the fact of them getting any older. Not Hannah! Ah I love her to pieces! Why can't she be like the Cabbage Patch Kids and not grow up on me???????????????????? I must add here that the other night during nighttime reading as well, Hannah begged me to read her the Rainbow Brite book I also found in the attic. I opened it up and there was an inscription which read, "To Julie, on this very special day. Christmas 1985, all my love, Memere." I got pretty choked up as it had been five years since I had seen Memere's writing and it totally caught me off guard but it was special and comforting as well. Looks like we'll be giving that one back to Jules so that she can read it to Reanna. Thank you Memere, for reminding us how much you love us and for sending us angel kisses from heaven!

Layla on the other hand at 20 months is showing interest in the potty. I think she has gotten so use to seeing Mommy go "pee pee" 50 million times from all the water I have been drinking that she now rips off her diaper, yells "pee pee" and begs me to put her on the toilet. She has yet to actually go, but it is very funny all the same. I just feel like she is soooo tiny to be doing this already, yet at the same time I am trying to embrace it. Hannah was a tough one to train. Maybe Miss Layla cakes will be a cinch! Anyhow, it would probably be a good idea to go get her a potty to sit on in the near future. Do they even make underwear in size 18 months?

Alright.. my song for the day is Kenny Chesney's "There goes my life." I dont think I have posted it before.. sorry if I have! It just needs to be posted today!

All he could think about was I'm too young for this.

Got my whole life ahead. Hell I'm just a kid myself.

How'm I gonna raise one.

All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.

So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.

Oh well, those plans are long gone.

And he said,There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

Might as well kiss it all good-bye.

There goes my life.......

A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.

That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.

Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.

Momma's waiting to tuck her in,

As she fumbles up those stairs.

She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.

Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.

He smiles.....There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

I love you, daddy good-night.

There goes my life.

She had that Honda loaded down.

With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes and his American Express.

He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.

She hugged them both and headed off to the West Coast.

And he cried,

There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

I love you.Baby good-bye.

There goes my life.

There goes my life.

Baby good-bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MIJShOqh8Q

Flying By

This week is already flying by!!! Monday we had Jay's annual Uno's night to raise money for the Jay Lawrence Foundation and for the scholarship that is handed out in his name each year at the high school. This night is always so fun for me because it is all of my favorite people under one roof! It's almost surreal in a sense that the same loyal crew comes and everyone is always smiling and even those people that you haven't ever formally been introduced to, smile and say hello. It is also remarkable how much my family's life has changed in these 8 1/2 years. I am still in awe that Jay received his angel wings EIGHT AND A HALF years ago! Wow.. The first few years this dinner was a way for most of us to come together and drink away the pain of the loss. I am sure those first few years our bar tab was more than our meal tab. Now however, it's all of us "kids" chasing after OUR little ones all over the restaurant! It's comforting and almost peaceful because although there will always be that missing piece of us, we have endured the loss and have continued on. Our families have grown and this tradition will continue on and on and on and someday it will be OUR little ones running up the liquor tab! (UGH!) But for now, we can instill this tradition in our growing families and continue on each year. Jay will always be remembered and treasured as long as we can help it!

The rest of the week is busy with appointments and meetings but I am hoping to get my butt to the gym instead of continuing the work out sessions in my 2 X 4 bedroom! There is only so much you can do and after a while it just doesnt work anymore. Tonight there is a 2 hour lull in my night and i am hoping to head to the Precor machine! We shall see what I can accomplish. There are only so many hours in a day and I am certainly not a wonder woman but it would be nice to try and get some more weight off before Block Island! Darn genetics!

The girls are great! Enjoying the weather and the sun. I believe Miss Layla is teething again.. as the drool and cranky pants have told me so! Otherwise though, they have continued to crack us up. Hannah and her stories just kill me. She has a little girlfriend named, Angelica. She sees her from time to time and will play. The other night in the car she says, "Ma, I just dont get it.... She's too little to be an ant." It took me a minute to realize what she was saying and then I said, "Oh NO Han.. it's not Ant Gelica.. its ANNNN Gelica!" HAHAHAHAHA The kid just totally cracks me up!

I now must start preparing for The Banana's 5th Birthday party.. and I am so not okay with this turning 5 thing! Ahhh such is life and this is the way it goes, but I am surely not happy about my little premature baby turning FIVE! Where does this time go? Why cant I just freeze us here, in this place in time? sigh.....

This is the song that I use to sing to Hannah when she was in my belly... 6 very short years ago..

Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia

There's a new sun arisin' (In your eyes)

I can see a new horizon (Realize)

That will keep me realizin'

You're the biggest part of me (Stay the night)

Need your lovin' here beside me (Shine the light)

Need you close enough to guide me(For all my life)

I've been hopin' you would find me

You're the biggest part of me

Well Make a wish, baby

and I will make it come true

Make a list, baby

Of the things I'll do for you

Ain't no risk, now, In lettin' my love rain down on you,

So we could wash away the past,

So that we may start anew

(Rainbow) Risin' over my shoulder;

(Love flows) Gettin' better as we're older

(All I know) All I want to do is hold her

She's the life that breathes in me

(Forever) Got a feelin' that forever

(Together) We are gonna stay together

(For better) For me, there's nothin' better

You're biggest part of me

Well Make a wish, baby

Well, and I will make it come true

Make a list, baby

Of the things I'll do for you

Ain't no risk, now,

In lettin' my love rain down on you,

So we could wash away the past,

So that we may start anew

More than an easy feelin', She brings joy to me

How can I tell you What it means to me?

Flow like a lazy river For an eternity

I've finally found someone

Who believes in me, And I'll never leave

Make life grand

Well Make a wish, baby

Well, and I will make it come true

Make a list, baby

Of the things I'll do for you

Ain't no risk, now,

In lettin' my love rain down on you,

So we could wash away the past,

So that we may start anew(Beside me)

Need your lovin' here beside me

(To guide me) Keep it close enough to guide me

(Inside of me) From the fears that are inside of me

You're the biggest part of me(Forever)

Got a feelin' that forever (Together)

We are gonna stay together (Forever)

From now until forever

You're the biggest part of me

You're the life that breathes in me

You're the biggest part of me

You changed my life

You made it right

And I'll be a servant to you

For the rest of my life

You're the biggest part of me....