Gretchen's Day

 

www.WeLoveGretchen.net

 

 

How do I even begin?  Where do I start?  I simply just don't think I am going to be able to put into words what this event meant to me, but here goes.  I remember clear as day the night Shannon called me and said we needed to do something.  She had to pay it forward.  Being a two time breast cancer survivor, she knew what Gretchen was going through and she wanted to help.  People had come together to help her and now it was time to do the same.  All she had to do was say the words and I was on board.  The next call was made to Alyson because if there was anyone who could carry out the vision, it was she.  Alyson held a close bond with Gretchen and she took the vision and ran with it.  The beginning talks were about holding a softball tournament to raise funds to help Gretchen pay her hospital bills.  Our utmost intentions to be sure that Gretchen got healthy enough to attend the event and be hero'd as the guest of honor.  A cancer survivor.  God had other plans.  On May 19, 2012, the event became a Memorial Softball Tournament.  With heavy hearts, Alyson, Shannon and I headed up to say our final farewells to a woman whom I will always have an undying respect for.  Even with our heavy hearts, Alyson was in full force and we were making phone calls and arrangements from the car that evening on where to hold the BBQ and so on.  Shannon jumped right on making the most perfect logo for the event.  From there, something really special was born.

Meetings were held and people jumped on ship to help.  People I hadn't seen in a long time and some of them I hadn't seen since I graduated High School.  It didn't matter though because we were all there for one thing and that was to honor Gretchen and do right by her son.  Gretchen made the ultimate sacrifice for her son and we were going to do whatever it took to honor the person she was.  Ideas were flowing, responsibilities were taken and piece by piece, the vision came to life.  Time was of the essence and we didn't have much of it.  Less than three months to pull off something we wanted to be spectacular.  Yet, the team and yes we were a team, banded together.  Calls were made, donations began to come in, teams were formed and raffle prizes started to come together.  Before we knew it, Gretchen's Day was upon us.

Surely it was a tough week leading up to the event.  Stress levels were high, bumps were in the road and yet we forged ahead and kept our grip on what was important, Andrew and honoring Gretchen.  Saturday was upon us. The alarm went off at 5:00 AM and I awoke to down pours.  For the love of God, really?  I never even once thought that rain would be an issue.  Mostly because I was too caught up in everything that needed to get done and because there is no way it would rain on our parade.  It rained.  The decision was made to utilize the rain date and as I sat back that day taking a much needed rest from the events of my week, I realized that it was Gretchen's doing.  Everyone had been running ragged all week.  We needed rest.  A day to catch our breath and get a grip.  A day to regroup and that is just what we did.  She knew what she was doing. She had our backs.

Sunday I awoke to the most beautiful day.  It was a bright, sunny, cool morning.  This was it.  It was going down and we were going to do everything in our power to make sure it was a success.  I went into autopilot.  I had no idea what on earth I was doing but I didn't care.  I was going to do it and it was going to be good.  Phone calls to Alyson and Shannon.  Ice?  Sure I can get ice.  I'm just going to swing by CVS and grab the Sharpies for the balloons.  Before I knew it we were on the field.  Tables were set up and pictures were hung.  If there is ever a picture of what Gretchen will always be to me, it is that high school one.  It makes me laugh and feel good all at the same time.  People started coming in.  Helpers showed up.  Our Team had it going on.  DJ set up.  Signage hung.  You name it, it was getting done.  Everyone was doing whatever they could do get it done. 

Perhaps the most special moment of the day was when I got to meet little Andrew.  You all know I am a baby hog to begin with but for some reason, for me, holding Andrew and meeting him was a piece of closure for me if that makes sense.  I had all intentions of meeting Andrew before Gretchen left us.  We had chatted on Facebook and I was coming up to see her when she was well enough.  Shannon and I were going to go up and take pictures of Gretchen and Andrew and we were going to bring along a bucket of KFC.  (She had giggled about that)  I was going to bring her up Cameron's clothes to use for Andrew.  I never got that opportunity.  I will always have a pit in my stomach because of this.  I am so angry that we didn't get to take those pictures.  I know that there are plenty of pictures of Andrew and Gretchen, but this is what I do.  This is the way I know how to give back.  This was a memory I wanted Gretchen to have and a solid object for Andrew to hold on to when he was old enough to do so.  It didn't happen.  As I approached baby Andrew, Gretchen's family all welcomed me with smiles on their faces.  So welcoming and so thankful for what we were doing.  Chris offered Andrew for me to hold.  I don't even know what to say to him, but I hope he knows how very much this moment meant to me and how honored I was that he let me hold him.  Holding Andrew gave me peace and closure.  I felt like it was Gretchen's way of saying it was okay I didn't get to see her again. 

What I experienced this day was like nothing I have ever experienced before.  An entire community banding together.  Businesses, locals, families and friends all coming together to do good.  To do right.  There were people at the event that did not even know Gretchen, but they would not pass up the opportunity to do right by her out of sheer respect.  People can say whatever they want about Smithfield.  People can say whatever they want about our community but I'll tell you what.  I am so very proud to be a part of Smithfield.  I am honored to be a resident and I am thrilled to be surrounded by good, loving, caring people.  I will always back my small town and I will always be grateful for the people who are a part of this community because they are like no other.  With so much bad in the world, there is also so much good and I intend to relish in that.

The games were a hit and so many people kept coming up to me to tell me how much fun they were having.  The BBQ was perfect and the food was fantastic.  The raffle was a huge success!  Everything went off without a hitch and as we released the white balloons to heaven, I couldn't help but feel Gretchen's presence around us.  I can't help to think that she was beaming at the way everyone had come together, for her, for Andrew.  In fact, I know she was...

Now comes the task in thanking everyone.  I am going to try my very best to not leave out a single soul because it is really important for me that people know how much I appreciate them and what they did.  If I do inadvertently leave someone out, PLEASE add them to the comment section below.  I truly want to cover all the bases so just add them in and I will apologize in advance if I should forget about someone!

Here goes...

Thank you Shannon for having the vision.  Thank you for wanting to give back and realizing how precious life is.  Thank you for all the flyers and logos and signage.  You truly are talented.  Thank you Alyson, for bringing the vision to life.  For taking charge and being so caring.  For giving so much of yourself.  Stacey, thank you for being on your feet for an entire day cooking your fanny off.  Thank you to Beth as well.  I know what a long day that was and I appreciate it.  Thank you Mrs. T. for putting all the raffle prizes together and adding all of your special touches.  Thank you Melissa SCETTA (lol) for working so diligently on getting so many raffle prizes and the getting the water donated.  Thank you to Kevin for being our grill man along with the Sullivans and Sandy.  Thank you Melissa Smith and Henry for all the great ideas and the autographed football.  As you can see, it went to a great home!  Thank you to all the local business, Tony's Pizza Palace for donating pizzas and a gift certificate to the event.  To John Huyler and Swing Juice for coming through and John for all your help in the days leading up to the event.  Erin Zompa, Lisa Delsesto, The Lawrence Agency, Cha Cha Louise, Outdoor Decor.  Thank you Renee Coutu for the beautiful gift basket.  Thank you Duchess Designs.  Thank you to Cara and Nicole for stepping in on the day and getting things done.  Thank you to all of the SHS alumni who donated to this worthy cause.  Thank you Madison, Garret and Olivia.  Thank you to all the players and teams.  Thank you Jenn Aceto Carofel for manning the registration table.  Thank you Chris L'Europa for DJing the entire day and just offering yourself for that day.  Thank you to the Corporate Sponsors and Home Run Derby Sponsors.  Thank you to the parents who just showed up to support their kids doing something good.  Thank you to the wee ones who handled the day like rock stars.  Thank you Jen, Jenny and Ana for looking out for the babies so we could make the event successful.  Thank you to Amy Furia. Thank you Leanne and Dan for being a part of the day even without knowing Gretchen.   Thank you Rome Packing for purchasing the food for the BBQ and thank you Adam for being a support for us during our first meeting.  Thank you KFC for the coleslaw.  Thank you Valerie Thomas Trainer for singing an awesome National Anthem.  Thank you Sandy for being my sidekick!  Thank you Scot Nassa for your donation of water and bars!  Thank you Jay Spinard for being a huge supporter and to the Boston Team who inspires us all to do good in this world.  Thank you to the people who couldnt attend but routed us on in their hearts.  THANK YOU DAY FAMILY, for allowing us to stand by your side and do right in this world.  For being so welcoming, helpful and thankful.  Thank you Chris, for allowing us to be a part of Andrew's life.  You truly are a special family and I can only hope we keep in touch and plan next year, bigger and better!  Lastly, thank you Gretchen, for letting us into your life while you were here on this earth and for watching over us while you now live above.  You have inspired us all to be better people.  I am humbled.  All my love.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Sail on

Yesterday the world lost yet another little cancer warrior, Bella. Her page came to me on facebook and I quickly learned of her journey.  Unfortunately, she was at the end of the journey as I began to read about her.  Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.  This damn Neuroblastoma.  I hate it.  I don't even know it and I hate it.  I try for a half a second to put myself in these paretns' positions and I cant even get through a millisecond of imagining what it must be like to see your child in so much pain and then to live their days through the emptiness of no longer having that child.  It's happening everywhere.  Every day I read about a new little warrior and it truly ticks me off that we can put a stupid land rover on the moon but we cant find a cure for cancer. If this doesnt get your blood boiling to a point where you want to do something then I dont know what will, but take a look at Isabella's journey...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Asz942m1q8&lc=r_UWpmWb2OFlc8CQQjF7X5mANjWK0siyWmH4ZgsT02c&feature=inbox

It was almost three years ago now when I fell in love with little Layla Grace.  The coincidence of having my own Layla Grayce being a mere month older.  There have been so many more little cancer heroes since then but Layla and Ronan the most adorable little rock star, were the two that I just couldn't peel myself away from.  That I felt something for, even as a complete stranger.  These children should not be dying and their parents shouldn't be forced to live in a world without them.  I can't help but think that helping to raise awareness and finding a cure for childhood cancer, specifically Neuroblastoma, is part of my job in life.  We all are put on this earth with a mission right?  I have a feeling this may be mine.  I always think that some day it may coincide with photography.  Sessions with families affected?  A way to raise money?  Yes, I definitely see something with this in my future.  Until then, I absorb and I smack myself upside the head for all the mistakes I make with my lovies through the course of the day.  Why did I scream at Hannah like that?  Why couldn't I have had more patience and spoken to her and explained to her in a much more appropriate way?  Why do I yell at Layla for whining?  Why do I yell at Cameron for being a little wrecking ball?  They are kids!  They need to be kids!  I need to chill out!  If they weren't the way they were then my life would be mundanely boring and unbearable.   I love them with my every being.  Each of them.  And when the day is done, the one thing I do right is make sure they know that.  I make sure they can feel it.  I make sure they know that Mama loves to the moon and the stars and back again...I make sure that I soak them up and appreciate every little inch of them because I do, truly feel blessed to have three "healthy" kids.

Its been a busy week with work and photography.  A lot of people I promised shoots to are wanting them done! LOL  The more experience I get the better, but I am so totally wiped!  I had a great shoot with teenage kids last week.  It was really neat to have grown kids at a shoot and it was a totally different  and unique experience.  Unfortunately I am unable to post any of the pictures because their mother decided to be childish.  I wont go any further but it is truly sad to see this mother berate the children's father and step mother (my friend) publicly on Facebook where the children could see.   I was actually fuming and had to talk myself out of engaging her because I knew it was classier to take the high road and I obviously wasn't dealing with a rational person anyhow.  Shame on her.  Love photographing this couple however because they love to get into the shoot and make my job 100 times easier.  Plus they are so very photogenic!

It's been a tough few weeks for Mom.  I think it's been said that she is sick, but if not, then there it is in black and white.  I've said it.  Mom is sick.  That's about all I can get out. Baby steps.  Trust me, I want to scream it out on a flipping megaphone, but I have to have respect for my family as well.  I think any of you who know me, or her, probably know and eventually I will be able to lay it all out there, but for now, this is as much as I can do.  She seems to be declining and I am not sure what is going on.  Dad looks like he's got a 250 pound weight on his shoulders.  My go to guy, crumbling around us.  There are some glimmers of happiness in there though.  Mom's dear friend, has been doing so much to help.  She loves to take her for a few hours and loves to do for her.  She's always doing!  And you know what?  When I go to pick Mom up, Mom's happy and D's happy too!  It's like she adores every last second she has with Mom.  It's such a blessing because time with Mom can really do a number on your psyche.  I say this only because Mom's communication skills have diminished quite a bit.  Yet D loves her time with her.  I'll never foget all she's done to help.  I'll never forget what a true friend she's been to Mom, even though I know it must hurt her inside to see her like this.

We did have an awesome Monday though swimming in Ana's pool and catching up with an old friend.  One of my good buddies from college passed away in 1998 at the age of 24.  He left behind a brother who has Cerebal Palsey.  I havent seen him in 14 years and low and behold Ana's mother was one of his TA's.  She started talking about him one night during one of our wine nights and I knew the minute she said his first name, it was him.  She nearly fell off the chair when I stated his last name.  Needless to say I was blown away with how far he has come and how great he looks.  I truly can't believe how hard he must have worked to get where he is today.  Living in his own apartment and holding his own job.  He was even taking steps without his crutches!  God bless him.  I know his big brother is so proud of him!  This was technically the first time Mr. Cam has been in a pool aside from Billy and I holding him in the one in Naples.  I had thrown a floatie shirt on him because I was nervous with him being around the pool.  Needless to say, within minutes the kid had gone running and jumping in and was giggling hysterical over the fact that he was swimming.  I just shake my head.  He is TWO and has not one ounce of fear.  I will say that he was so good though.  All of the lovies were since they love to swim. 

Hoping to have another fun eveing to post about after tomorrow... well hello it's.... THE PATRIOTS OPENING PRE SEASON GAME and let me tell you... I am SOOOO READY for some FOOTBALL!  Very excited to be back in the football world again and see my boys play!