Overwhelmed

To say the past several weeks have been a blur of craziness would be an understatement. I swear I keep waiting for the calmness to settle in and for summer to begin, when the truth is, summer is already almost over. (I really cant bare to think of Hannah heading to kindergarten in a little over 4 weeks!) Where did these past two months go? Once again I have been caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and have barely had a moment to stop, stand still and breath.

Billy was called to work up in New Hampshire the week before Block Island. He spent that week up there and then sporadically the week of our vacation. (He was able to get to Block Island for a day or so). The week we got back, he then had to head up there to work for weeks at a time. At first I was nervous about it but then I got use to it and although I did miss him, I was able to fall into a schedule. A good one actually. The kids were heading to bed by 7:15 every night.. and falling asleep.. ON THEIR OWN! This was huge and it also allowed me to get everything accomplished. Although Layla still refuses the crib, since Block Island she has been going down in her pack n play every night and will fall asleep without me being in the room. This is HUGE for us and a milestone that has taken nearly 2 years to accomplish. There have even been nights where she has slept the entire night! When she does wake, I can usually get her back down within seconds! Now if I can only get Hannah to stay put in her bed we would be all set. Yet, I am too weak to deny her cuddles in the middle of the night when she is scared or lonely. Plus, having Billy away has certainly done it's number on her. She had a really tough time with it and did not like that he wasnt home to laugh and play with her. Thankfully, as of this week it looks like he wont have to go back up there for a while. In the meantime though, he needs to keep working... all this not working has really done a number on our finances. I know it is a tough time, but something has got to give! Unfortunately during the past 6 weeks or so, Hannah and Layla have been sick with viruses for most of them. I dont get it. Hannah was literally falling asleep at all hours of the day and in the blink of an eye. One second she's up and about talking to you and running around, the next she's on the floor sleeping. Anyone who knows Hannah, knows this is just not her. I was so worried that something bad was going on, however all her blood work came back normal so no Lyme's or Mono. It must have just been a nasty virus. Although, I am still not ruling out an ear issue with her as she keeps getting these low grade temperatures. Layla's diarrhea has come back full throttle and although it is not as many times as it use to be per day. It is still quite a bit. I am trying not to get overly concerned because she is happy most of the time and her sleeping habits have improved. I have an appointment in Boston for her in the next week or two, so we shall see what may come of it.

Last week we were knocked down pretty hard. I was heading over my in laws for dinner since Billy was in NH when my father in law had a heart attack. It was a pretty scary few days, but thankfully he is doing well and fingers crossed he stays that way. He had a stint put in the main artery to his heart and although it was a tough procedure since the plaque had calcified so hard they had to drill through, the blood is flowing smoothly now. Billy was able to get home and see him over the weekend which truly helped. The crazy part is that Grampy is a picture of health. He has never smoked, doesnt drink coffee, and maybe has one beer a year and this still happened. Unfortunately, genetics has played a role as his father passed away from a heart attack at the age of 54. His mother, Gramma Rose also had congestive heart failure and other heart conditions. You can't change your genes however, we are all so grateful that he is alive and well. In the coming weeks he may have to go in for another stint in another artery, but a stress test will show if this is needed or not. Whewww... again, a crazy few days, but the family gathered round and got through it all. It's funny, I never really thought about Billy's parents ever having health issues. I am always so consumed with my parents and health issues. I always looked at his parents as being strong and healthy and therefore not even worrying about it. Mine on the other hand.. oh dear I cant even go there as we are going through a terribly tough time right now that I can even bare to post about it. Nor should I. Let's just say that the last several weeks have left me with many many sleepless nights worrying about what the future may hold for my family. So all in all Grampy's heart attack was a shock on all of us. Yet we are so grateful to the Lord above for keeping him here with us. Especially for his 4 granddaughters who adore him.

I am looking forward to our ONE relaxing weekend this weekend as the rest of August is booked up entirely. We are going to head down the beach and decompress. I am very much looking forward to it and to be quite honest, I TRULY NEED IT. Hopefully it will rejuvenate me for a few more weeks!

Hannah Banana Meatball's Milestone

Well I have survived the turning FIVE! Yes, my 5lb 2 oz little meatball turned 5 yesterday! Thankfully our weekend was a blur of craziness which left me little time to be depressed over the fact that my first born miracle is now 5. However, there were a few moments (mostly in the nighttime insomniac mode) where I began to get choked up while taking a trip down memory lane. What kept me afloat and optimistic is the sure fact that I have my Hannah. I have her. There was a time when uncertainties about her health made us unsure if she was going to make 4 months. Five years later, I HAVE HER! I KNOW that I am BLESSED. I know that I am fortunate. I know that my life has been graced by a miracle that the Lord above sent me.

It is so wonderful to watch Hannah grow into this unbelievable little person. Strong willed, determined, sentimental, emotional, happy go lucky and independent child she is. I never thought she would get my emotional sensitive qualities, but she has. Yet, she is also so strong and determined that I know for sure Hannah is going to do something great in this lifetime. She excels at so much! She wants to be involved in so much!

Wasn't it just yesterday that she crawled for the first time? She was 11 months and we were on Block Island when all of a sudden, she just crawled! She had never attempted it before. Just decided she wanted to get from point A to point B quicker and did it! I was so worried that she wouldnt crawl as a side affect to all the medication she was on..or because some portion of her brain had been damaged, but no, she crawled, right then and there! Less than two months later at 14 months.. she walked. Same thing. She never really attempted to walk. She was far too busy perfecting her crawl when one day she just stood up and walked. Straight across the room. I want to say it was 6 or 7 steps she took. I chuckle when I am thinking about it now because this said then, what we would soon learn about her personality.

Hannah really is a star. She's my star. She is my hero. She brings so much joy to everyone she meets. She keeps us on our toes and she keeps us laughing. She dances through our lives bringing me more joy than I ever could have imagined. She inspires me and can help change my mood in an instant. Lately, I love the new "friend" quality in our relationship. She quickly learned about my love for Michael Jackson as she had to endure my depression over his death. She now loves to dance on our coffee table to thriller! LOL Sometimes I think she is a mini me, but then she also has so many of her Daddy's great qualities as well.

So baby girl is 5 and life is continuing to go on and on quicker than I ever thought imaginable. Yet, I know that these are the good years and I am completely grasping onto every single second of them!

Happy Birthday my dear Hannah! Happy 5th Birthday! xoxoxo