TGIF - Insert Katy Perry's song here....

We're alive!  It's Friday!  THANK GOD it's FRIDAY!  I don't think I have ever been so excited for a weekend to start.  Not because we have anything fun planned but because this week is OVER!  Goodbye!  Good riddance!  Did I survive the girl's first day of school?  Yes.  Was I an emotional wreck? Yes.  I had all of two minutes to cry and be a mess before I had to head directly into moving my parents who have been without power for 6 days.  By day 2 with a broken generator, my father had enough and decided to move.  For those who don't know, my childhood home is on the market.  My parents have downsized and bought a smaller home.  They had intended to move in little by little, but under the current circumstances and with no power or water at what we now call the "old" house, we set to work.  It has been a grueling few days and to be quite honest, I would like to forget them all together.  I had many emotions about my parents selling my childhood home.  While I understood the reasoning behind the move and support my father 110% in this decision, I always thought that by the time they were ready to sell, we'd be ready to buy it.  Life hasn't worked out that way and it's not in the cards.  I've accepted that and now, the old house no longer even feels like home to me.  I will always keep the memories close to my heart, but in all reality, I don't think I would be able to live there without having certain emotions about the way it was.  It's time to let go and move on.  I can do that.  So organizing, sorting old from new and what will fit, packing, unpacking, loading cars and unloading cars has been filling most of my days this week.  To the point where I got home last night and starting to go through my own kitchen.  How can I sit there and so neatly organize my parent's house when mine is such a disaster? 


I'm at the point now where I just want my parents settled in their new house.  I want them comfortable and organized.  I want some sort of normalcy back.  Julie and I have been working our tushies off to make this happen.  Juggling kids, drop offs, work and whatnot we have somehow managed to move 99% of the house, on our own.  Have I mentioned that I don't know what I would do without her in my life?  If it weren't for each other, I know we would never be able to get through this phase in our lives.  Somehow, together, we are getting through probably one of the most difficult times we will ever have to endure and I will leave it at that.  Aside from Julie, I thank God every day for these beautiful angels he has given me.  They are my life lines.  They are what is good in this life.  I swear to God they were put on this earth to save me.  They are my happiness.  They are everything that is good in my life.  Unfortunately, I have had very little time to spend with them the past two weeks due to all of the chaos that has been going on and it is affecting me.  I miss them.  I want to just sit and play and color and laugh.  I want to play dress up and I want to play ball.  I feel like I am missing out on so much and it has only been two weeks.  Billy had to pick Hannah up from her first day of school on Wednesday and it killed me.  He got to take her to the park even though it was me who had promised to take her.  I want my life back.  I want my time with them back.  I want the hectiness to end.  Now.


Thankfully the girls seem to be adjusting well to school.  Hannah has a wonderful teacher this year and a FANTASTIC new principal.  I got to meet him yesterday and he is a doll.  I get such a good vibe from him and I am praying that this is the turn around year for McGuire Elementary.  Finger's crossed.  I was worried Layla would be upset at drop off today because all summer she kept telling me that I need to drop her off and leave her there.  She got a kick out of telling me this.  Her attempt at being independent I presume and watching what we do when dropping Hannah off at school.  Last night she told me that she would like for me to stay at school with her.  I gulped.  Thankfully though, she was so excited to have Cousin Addy at school with her today that she forgot all about wanting Mommy... even though Mommy would have done anything to get on the floor and play with her at preschool all day.  I think I would have even enjoyed nap time tremendously!  Driving to drop Hannah off afterwards was so weird.  I kept looking at her empty car seat wanting to lose it.  Two other kids and the car and yet I felt so lonely.  After dropping Hannah off it was just Cam and I.  Just the two of us heading into the office together.  All I can say is, Thank God I had a third.  I cant imagine going through this without having him to keep me distracted.  And distracted he certainly keeps me.  The kid is a moose!  He's huge!  He's into EVERYTHING and has quite the temper lately.  VERY strong willed.  He reminds me sooo much of Hannah at this age.  He's like the male version of her!  He seems to be doing okay without his sidekick Layla here to occupy his time.  It's good for us too, to have this alone time as well.... even though I would do anything to have all three by my side.  As I type, he is giving me that toothy grin of his and I just want to eat his face off!


Last night after the kids went to sleep, I ended up going to see my Ana Banana for a bit.  It has been months since we sat and talked.  It was such a nice, crisp evening and I was so grateful for this time with her.  Just chatting away and discussing life.  It made me feel the most normal I have felt in weeks.  Just being there and talking like we use to before the summer got so hectic.  I hope we can continue this tradition!  It's like therapy for me!  I went to bed on the late side and woke up to Hannah climbing in bed with us.  So weird that she has been doing this a bit more lately.  She curled up between Billy and I and went to sleep.  Billy woke up really early for work and found Layla sitting up in her bed.  He carried her to ours and the girls and I curled up and slept.  I cant tell you how much I adore this.  I don't care how tired I am.  Something about this cuddle time with them just melts my heart.  Hannah fell asleep holding my hand and Layla was curled up right into my side with her arms wrapped around me.  I don't think I could have felt more loved.  These are the times I want to remember forever.  I am grateful for every single one of these moments I have with my children...

Happy 3rd Birthday to my niece Addison!  We love you very much dolly!  xoxoxo

And this is why I will be okay....