It's been some time. I haven't quite had much of a chance to sit and write. Yet, I am glad today I seem to have found a bit of space today. The days pass in a blur, the months pass in seconds and again I find myself wishing and praying that time would stand still, just for a bit. The kids are growing like weeds. Getting older and hitting all their milestones. I look at Hannah and my heart drops a bit each time. She looks and acts like a teenager. As much as it hurts my heart to see her getting so big so quickly, I do love the relationship we have. I can joke with her on a different level now and she gets my silliness. It's all together different dialogue with her now. It is so hard though.. to not be able to hold her and carry her the way I did when she was a little girl. That part really bothers me. Holding Miss Layla has even been getting tough lately, but thankfully, I still can. My tall and skinny string bean. She has completely flourished into a super silly, super spacey, hysterical little monkey. The kid has us all belly laughing at least twice a day with her verbiage, jokes and just her pure funniness. She is just going to be the funniest little bean her whole life I believe. She is maturing though too. Learning is starting to stick a bit with her, although she is not like Hannah with that super smart eagerness to learn. She can hold her own though. She is surely the one who will laugh her way through life and I am so okay with that. She is five and still says, "hold you Mommy, hold you." (sigh of relief) One of those things I never corrected and never want too. She's still my super cuddly love bug too. Many nights I end up falling asleep with her while she's snuggled up in my "nook". Then there is Mr. Man. My baby boy.. every day he grows a bit older and wiser. He figures out new things all the time and is much like Hannah in his eagerness to learn and do things on his own. He has an obsession with holding the door open for Mommy and anyone else for that matter. He HAS to be the one to do it or he gets very upset. My little gentleman. And then on the flip side, when he gets upset... WATCH OUT! LOL He wont think twice before he hits, bites and throws something at your head. He can throw some serious meltdowns but ALWAYS comes to apologize, hug and kiss once he is calm. I know its a phase and we are trying our best to teach him right from wrong. It's just another step in the growing up process. He adores his sisters and wants to do everything they do. I often look at him and see so much of Hannah in him. February is the time we have to reserve his spot for Fall preschool and I've already cried twice just thinking about having all three kids in school. How can my little baby boy be old enough to go to preschool? I am so not going to handle this well... like.. at all. And I swear, if there were some way I could have a 4th.. I would. In a heart beat!
Billy and I are spending the next several months creatively making the house ours. Lots of projects we would like to accomplish. I am currently working on my photography nook. I'm so excited about it because it will be the one spot in the house that is just mine! I want all aspects of it to be something I created. The desk, I bought unfinished and finished it with a rustic weathered look. I ADORE it! It's so rustic, country charm and chic. I have more touches I need to make before I post a final picture... but I'm so loving it. We really want to make the house feel like ours and I think after almost 9 years of being married, we are finding our taste in decorating. The other night I was thinking about how we would most likely pass the house down to one of our kids. I was wondering which one would love to have it the same way I did. Would they hate our taste in decor as much as we do our parents? Would they change everything like we are? Made me chuckle a bit.
While I am eagerly awaiting the Spring, and warmer weather, I am also learning to just be in the moment. To enjoy the here and now. To savor it and cherish it. To take in every second with my children, husband and family and just breathe... With all the tragedy in this world right now, I certainly am realizing that every day is a gift. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. So all I can do is love. Love as much as I can. XO
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