This has certainly been a week of many emotions for many reasons.  Without getting into it, because I truly am not able to at this point, I just cant stop the tears from flowing.  I know that these hormones are most definitely a contributing factor and I am keeping that in mind.  There have been so many things going on that every time I feel as though I am standing back up, there comes another blow.  I have to keep reminding myself that wallowing in misery will not get me anywhere and does nothing for the situation.  That standing tall and appreciating time is what matters most and what will lead me to no regrets in the end.  So that is what I am going to put all my might in doing.  I have always prided myself in being so grateful for what I have and I need to revisit this because although things are a bit tough at the moment, it could always be so much worse.  So this is me, getting rid of the yuckies, and lifting my spirits to realize that yes indeed, I am so very fortunate.


To add to my teary eyes today, we hit another milestone in our house.  Miss Layla started daycare today for the first time.  Although I enjoy her tremendously at work, I also felt as though I was barricading her in to a world of adults.  She is so very sweet and endearing and she needed a day where she could be with children of her age and enjoy them.  I anticipated her transitioning easily because we have been discussing her starting "school" where she already knew a few friends.  She also gets frustrated when she cant accompany Hannah to school.  Well, it didnt go as easily as I had expected.  The poor baby got so very frightened by all the kids and clung to me like saran wrap!  Thus, not making it easy on Momma Bear.  The other sight that made it difficult was that almost every single one of the kids had a crouping horrible cough.  UGH!  Layla's immune system is terrible enough.. how is this all going to play out?  I did manage to get to my car before the tears began to roll down my cheeks and I was able to stop them prior to stepping into work.  I just hope we are doing the right thing by her.  I want her to socialize with children her own age, but I am not sure if it is the best thing for her health.  Oh how I wish I could just win the lottery and be a stay at home Mom so I wouldnt have to be struggling with these decisions!  I did call to check on her when I got to my office and they said she was settling in fine, so that eased my fears.  I just wish there was a sign telling me that yes, I am making the right decision!  Poor Billy got my frantic sobbing phone call as I drove to work.  Thankfully, he was able to help me put myself back together and back in control.. LOL  He must think to himself that he married a looney!  Thank God for him!


As the days go on I can feel the bug kicking more and more.  This is such a comforting feeling for me.  I cant even begin to explain how excited I am to spend this time with my babies this summer.  I have such a need to make this a memorable and unforgettable summer!  Solely because we will have time..TIME!  What's more precious than time?  Absolutely nothing in my book.  I cant stop daydreaming about our days to come down the beach spending time with the girls, the new bug, Jules and Reanna and Mom.  These are most definitely the thoughts that have been calming me.  For now, these are the thoughts I will be keeping!