It Wont Be Like This for Long

Last night I went to put Layla down to sleep in her crib. She has been going down in the crib recently, she wont stay there all night.. but it is a start. I put her down and I sit in the rocker for a few minutes and she goes out quickly. Baby steps! I put the country radio station on for her and she loves it. So last night, as I am sitting in the rocker, staring at her beautiful face fast asleep, this song comes on.

"It won't be like this for long"

by Darius Rucker

He didn't have to wake up

He'd been up all night

Lay'n there in bed listen'n

To his newborn baby cry

He makes a pot of coffee

He splashes water on his face

His wife gives him a kiss and says

It's gonna be Okay

It wont be like this for long

One day soon we'll look back laugh'n

At the week we brought her home

This phase is gonna fly by

So baby just hold on

It wont be like this for long

Four years later bout four thirty

She's crawling in there bed

And when he drops her off at preschool

She's clinging to his leg

The teacher peels her off of him

He says what can I do

She says now dont you worry

This will only last a week or two
It wont be like this for long

One day soon we'll drop her off

And she wont even know your gone

This phase is gonna fly by

If you can just hold on

It wont be like this for long

One day soon she'll be a teenager

And at times you'll think she hates him

Then he'll walk her down the isle

And he'll raise her veil
But right now she up and cry'n

And the truth is that he dont mind

As he kisses her good night

And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her

Till her eyes are finally closed

And just watch'n her it breaks his heart

Cause he already knows

It wont be like this for long

One day soon that little girl is gonna be

All grown up and gone

Yeah this phase is gonna fly by

He's try'n to hold on

It wont be like this for long

It wont be like this for long

Of course then I quietly close the door and run to Hannah's room where she is waiting patiently to play cards with Mama and I smile and think how perfect my life is. How truly perfect. I sit down on the bed, play a round of cards and lay down beside her and watch her fall fast asleep.

Hot Diggety Dog!

WOW! This weekend was one word, FANTASTIC! We owe it all to this gorgeous span of weather we are having. If this doesn't get you into the summer mode, I dont know what will! By Friday evening the girls were finally feeling better and they enjoyed a lovely evening outside with Miss Brenna. We ordered takeout and had a blast watching the Sox wipe out the Yankees! There is nothing better than a warm night filled with friends, beer and the Red Sox.


Saturday, we started the yard clean up. It was sooo nice to be outside so early in the morning and get things done. We took a break to get Hannah to skating lessons and she did great! I can definitely see an improvement after only 3 lessons. I hope that Billy gets to take her to some public skating because I think his influence on her would be wonderful and would probably be more beneficial as well. Yet, sometimes I do have to remind him that she is a girl and that she very well may not be interested in hockey! HA!

After skating we headed on over to Auntie Ju Ju's to have lunch in the park with Reanna. It was soooo nice and sooo warm! It felt wonderful and Hannah really enjoyed running all over the play yard. Papa even made a surprise guest appearance at the park! Reanna is getting so big already and I cant believe 6 months have just flown by. It is going to be adorable to watch the girls at the beach this summer.

Sunday we spent all day in the yard and we got so much accomplished. It started out as a family affair before Billy got called into work. Yet even so, we got so much accomplished I feel great about it. The leaves were raked, loom spread, front porch and driveway hosed down and I even got a chance to continue where we left off in staining the fence. I really LOVE the color stain we chose. Granted it would look even nicer if the whole fence was new but I still love the color on the old part of the fence as well. Hoping we can get this finished within the next few weeks or so. Hannah also insisted that we plant some sunflower seeds throughout the yard and it should be interesting to see if they grow or not. Fingers crossed that at least one of them grows or else the kid will be crushed. Although.. it would be pretty funny if these huge sunflowers started sprouting all about everywhere as well.

I have to say that one of my favorite parts of this weather is being able to sleep with the windows open. There is nothing better than that. I swear I sleep so much better with the sounds of nature! Secondly, I love to watch the girls play. Both girls were so happy to be outside all day long and Hannah even set the table outside last night for dinner since she insisted that we eat outside. I love to see them getting all dirty and then washing their tanned little bodies up and putting on their summer pajamas. I love the smell of them just after a bath when their hair is still wet and curly.. well at least Hannah's is.. Layla is still working on the hair thing. There is just nothing better than the sweetness that the summer brings. Hannah kept saying all day long yesterday, "This is just the best day ever Mom." My heart smiled.

One last thing... TWO WORDS.. JACOBY ELLSBURY! Billy and I were watching the game last night and we went "OHHH what just happened?" Oh that was just Jacoby.. marking his name in history! LOL

Sick sick sick

I am utterly and completely done with these sicknesses! From Hannah's hive incident to Layla's scary weekend being covered in hives from head to toe, to me waking up this morning with a double ear infection and a throat infection! DONE! I have decided to put us all in bubbles from here in out, good LORD! I am so very Oscar the Grouch today as I am feeling terrible and Layla hasnt much improved either. The hives are not nearly as bad but her eyes are still bright red and gooping green gunk. Pink eye or virus? I am completely aggravated with the service we have recieved at the Pediatrician's office this week as well. When I went to get checked today I had explained to the doctor what we have been through this week and he asked if she were checked for strep. No! She wasnt! The doctor checked her throat and said it was very red, but simply stated a virus was to blame for all of her symptoms. I am getting completely frustrated with all of this! Moreover, Layla and prednisone do not mix and she has been quite unruly these past few days. I wish I could fast forward to our soon to be beach days when everyone is well and we are basking on the sand with our pails and shovels! I am going home to put my grouchiness on the couch and I am hoping the girls will follow suit!

Vacation Week

This week was Hannah's vacation week from school and we have somehow managed to do something fun every day! Two kids at the office every day has been a bit challenging but I have been determined to make it fun for them! Monday night Hannah and I had a date night and I took her out to dinner and to see the much anticipated Hannah Montana movie. I need to rant a little bit on this subject because up until this movie I was a little unclear about how I felt about Miley Cyrus. I do like watching her show and I like to listen to her music with Hannah. Hannah sure gets a kick out of her and wants to be just like her even at such a young age. I have always been a fan of Billy Ray as country music has my heart and soul, yet I was a bit afraid of Hannah looking up to a pop star that was much older than she. Although adorable, HM's character has a bit of a little attitude in the show and I was afraid that Hannah may pick up on this and it is not exactly what I wanted her to look up to. I also was a little concerned about the pictures that had surfaced of her on the Internet and on the cover of Vanity Fair. However, I do believe that the media is to blame for some of these issues and is often found manipulating these young actors and actresses. This being said, I do believe this show was created for teenagers and low and behold it caught on to the youngsters as well. I have also followed many news articles about how Miley was raised and how her parents keep a tight hold on her so that she doesnt end up this teenager running all over Hollywood. All in all Hannah got hooked on Miley because of the name thing and many family members would buy her items because of the name thing as well. What I am trying to lead up to here is that we went to see the movie Monday night and I have to tell you, I would see it again a million times over. It was sooo good and it put any fears to rest that I had about Hannah looking up to Miley Cyrus. I adored everything about this movie, what it stood for and the message it was meant to send. Everything about it was adorable from the characters right on down to the music and I will even admit there was a part where I got teary eyed (the Butterfly Fly Away song)! The all star cast from Miley, to Billy Ray, to Taylor Swift and the Rascall Flatts was phenomenal. Again.. a country gal at heart, this was truly delightful and entertaining to watch! Okay, I am done my rant.

The most important part of the evening was that I finally got to spend some one on one time with my Hannah. We had more fun giggling and skipping into the movie theater. Although I think I may have actually embarrassed the kid at one point. She made me stop skipping! Whoa.. already this is starting! HA! I am in for it. She got a big kick out of how we kept the whole evening a big secret and wouldnt tell anyone where we went and what we did. It was so wonderful to have this Hannah time and a nice change of pace.

Tuesday we went to Toys R Us with the girl's Easter gift certificates. Although this wasnt without incident as I had gone to get Hannah out of the car seat and the poor kid's face was covered in hives and these huge welts. What??? I mean this is Hannah now? I had to run to CVS and grab some Benadryl to get it to calm down. It did and we went skipping through the isles of Toys R Us no problem! Hannah ended up with a beauty salon kit and Layla.. a 6 pack of high heels. Yes, she is my high heeled kid. I can't open my closet without her freaking out and putting her feet in my heels. Usually we see her strutting around with just one on and it is hilarious! If Hannah takes her shoes off, Layla is right there putting her feet in them. Ahhhh the fun of having girly girls!

Yesterday we established Hannah's face hives were from Cadbury Mini Eggs after we had another episode of the facial hives. RANDOM! Yet, in looking up the ingredients, apparently they have Hazelnut protein in them and this could be the cause. Hannah was always able to eat peanut butter without an issue but I did read that you can be allergic to one and not the other. So it is between this and the dyes in the candy that must have caused her to be allergic. I swear there is never a dull moment in our household and Lord did I get it back 10 fold! After dinner our treat was to walk to Cool Licks. Although it was quite cold, I bundled the girls up and off we went! Hannah ordered her usual vanilla Dole Whip with rainbow sprinkles and Layla and I shared a vanilla Dole Whip as well. She seemed to be alright with it, which is good to know for this summer as it is dairy free so hopefully she'll be able to have some here and there.

So this is what we have been up to all week! BUSY BUSY BUSY! I have also been trying to work some extra hours throughout the week so that we may take a half day tomorrow as cousins Arielle and Addison are coming over for a play date!

I am also happy to announce that I am going to visit my new little man Luke who was born April 15th @ 2:30 AM. Both Melisa and Luke are doing great and I cant believe he is finally here! I cant wait to hold a little boy in my arms and I am dying to see this bundle of hair he is said to have. Moreover, I cant wait to turn my camera on him!

Unfortunately, I am ending on a sad note as Boxer puppy dog face, Bauer passed away Monday evening. I know how hard it is to lose a fur family member and I know how much Bauer meant to my dear friend Shannon who is a two time breast cancer survivor. Bauer was her chemo buddy and a wonderful dog. Both my girls had a bunch of fun with her on Thursday when we were doing their Easter shoot and I am so very glad I grabbed the camera and got some great shots of Shannon and Bauer. Who knew then what little time she had left. She lead a good life and was soo loved. She will be missed but I know that she is running around in fields of gold with my Mandy girl. Kisses to puppy dog heaven Bauer! xoxoxo

Here are the lyrics to the song that had me bawling in the movie theater!

Butterfly Fly Away

You tucked me in,
Turned out the light
kept me safe and sound at night
little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
had to drive me everywhere
you were always there when I look back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
you would hold my hand then sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)

Got your wings now you cant stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
We've been waiting for this day
All along you knew just what to do
Butterfly,Butterfly,Butterfly,
Butterfly Fly Away

(Butterfly Fly Away)

(Butterfly Fly Away)

Picture it Sicily!

Last night I took the girls over to my friend Shannon's house to do an Easter photo shoot with them. I actually held a Nikon 200 in my hands and went to town! Granted it was a bit of a crazy afternoon as the girls had been at work with me all day and by 3:30... well you know how it goes with kids. Yet, under the circumstances, they both did very well and let me get a few good shots in. Shannon's set up is unbelievable and I feel like a kid in a candy store when I go over there!

With Shannon editing and myself shooting.. we truly make a great team!

Shannon and dear Bauer.. Quite the Pair! Shannon is recovering from her second battle with breast cancer and poor Bauer is suffering from heart disease.. and yet they still look like movie stars!

I am off to get my work done and finish all of my Easter preparations! Have a wonderful weekend and a fantastic Easter!

20lbs!

Layla has finally reached 20lbs at 18 months! This was a huge milestone for us as her growth chart had started to decline back and January. Not only did she gain weight but now she is back up in the 10th percentile for weight and this is fantastic! YAAAY! For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like we are on the right track with her!

I did mention her breathing issues while sleeping, even though my Dad wimped out on coming with me to the appointment. (Dr. Papa) She was great about wanting to look further into it as one of her sons had a similar issue, although I am sure she was saying something in her head about me being a hypochondriac! LOL We went for an x-ray to see if possibly her adenoids or tonsils are large and we shall see what becomes of that.

We had another night of terrible sleep. She went down around 8:00 in her crib no problems. By 10:30 she was up. I got her back down right away and by 11:00 she was up. Much of the rest of the night continued like this. I am so tired these days I dont know where to put myself. And yet I have a "to-do list" of things I must get done before Sunday that keeps growing and growing and growing! AHHHH! It is possible her teeth could be bugging her as well. She had a night last week where she screamed for several hours and Billy couldnt calm her. When I got home I noticed a few specks of blood on her pj's and AH HA.. she was cutting a tooth. So this possibly could be contributing to our forever sleepless nights as well. Although doping her up on Motrin is certainly not doing the trick today for nap time!

On anther note, I have begun my annual fundraising for Boston Children's Hospital. I think this year is going to be tough because of how everyone is struggling with money. I feel terribly guilty asking people to support our 5th annual 7-mile walk but at the same time, I am committed to rasing money for this event. What this hospital has done for my family and I can never be forgotten and I truly want to teach the girls about giving back in such a tremendous way. If anyone would like to learn more about this great cause, join our team, "Hannah's Heroes" or contribute financially, please visit the following link: http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=MK0065

Beantown at it's best!

I think I am still on a HIGH from our fantastic weekend! It truly could not have been a better one! Friday afternoon, after surviving 3 hours at the DMV with an 18 month old, I got my new car! I say new, because although it is 4 years old, it looks and smells brand spanking new! My parents have always kept their cars in tip top condition and I am proud to say that I am now an owner of a 2005 Acura MDX. Whoaaaa is that cool or what? I think I feel 18 all over again. The best feature about this car (for me) is that it has a third row. No more begging Billy for a minivan. I am sure he is relieved about that! Now however, I have enough room to fit another child (hopefully mine someday). If I go out with my sister, all three kids can fit and we dont have to take separate cars. Aside from this, the car drives unbelievable and I find myself making up errands to run just so I can drive it. Did I mention it's white? My favorite car color!

We dropped the kids off Saturday morning with my parents and headed up to the Bruins game. We started off at "The Greatest Bar" having our first cocktail and then we headed over to the TD Banknorth Center. Our seats were fantastic thanks to Mom Murphy. It was a great game and Billy and I totally enjoyed ourselves. We ate like pigs! Beer, nachos, hot dogs, chicken fingers... I think I gained 5 pounds in that 3 hours! The Rangers put up a good fight, but in the end the Bruins won 1 - 0. Billy finagled a T-Shirt from an ice girl and we left the arena to head over to the hotel.

The Lenox was absolutely beautiful and we checked into our gorgeous room (Thank you Helen). There were bathrobes! YES bathrobes! I wanted to steal one so badly but after seeing the hotel bill, I decided another $40 probably wasnt worth it. We got dressed for dinner and headed over to a restaurant called Sasso's which the concierge had recommended. After glancing at the menu, we both looked at each other and said, "We have to get out of here." It just wasnt what we expected and although we wanted to get dressed up and eat at a fancy restaurant, we also wanted to eat good hearty food. Not so much a dainty, delicate meal. We ordered an appetizer and a glass of wine, both which were very good and then headed over to Grill 23. OUR KIND OF PLACE! The second we walked in the place was all abuzz. The meal we had was by far the best meal I have ever eaten. Billy agreed. We finished the evening off at Grill 23 with some warm chocolate chip cookies and vanilla milk.. what was better than that?

Sunday we got up late and had breakfast in the room.. yuummmyy French Toast and strawberries. Seriously, I gained at least 10lbs this weekend! HA! We then decided to walk around the city after we checked out. We drove for a bit and then headed over to Fenway Park since it was Opening Day for baseball. We took a stroll around the souvenir shop and then walked around the park. We were heading up the street (which was barricaded to cars) when all of a sudden, there was Josh Beckett getting out of his car and handing his keys to a valet. Instantly I was star struck and we walked up closer. We realized that where we were was where the players drove in for practice. So we decided to stand there for a bit and were able to see more players coming in. Manny Delcarmen, Brad Penny (He is one big boy), Rocco Baldelli and Kevin Yuk Yuk Youkilis, "AKA Uncle Don". I swear it was one of the coolest experiences ever. I have never been that close to a player as whenever we go to a game our seats are always pretty far back. This was quite the experience though and it truly made Billy and I excited for this baseball season! We had hoped to see Big Papi, but it was pretty cold and windy standing there and after an hour or so, we decided to leave. We finished off our afternoon with a sausage sandwich...(ok.. possibly 12lbs I gained) and it was sooo good!

We headed home in the afternoon to pick up our petunias as I had missed them so. Both girls we well behaved for Nonnie and Papa and I was so excited to see them and give them cuddles. Papa said that Layla slept great til 2:00AM and then she woke up screaming. He got her back down and then she was up at 4:00AM. He put her in bed with him on his chest and she slept til 6:00AM. Interestingly enough, he brought to my attention that he thinks she could have sleep apnea. This thought has crossed my mind before because I have heard her breathing funny. However, I remembered reading somewhere that this was normal for a baby and I quickly dismissed the thought. He told me that when she was on his chest, he couldnt sleep so he was listening to her. Her breathing would go real heavy and then real low. There would be a long pause and then she would do a gasping breath and this is what would keep waking her up. She'd be frightened and wake up screaming and then go right back down because she was so tired and wanted to be sleeping.

I know that at this point I sound like a total hypochondriac with her and I really want my Dad to come with me to her 18 month appointment tomorrow. Maybe this is what has been causing all of our sleepless nights??? In looking it up online two things stood out to me. Children with allergies tend to have sleep apnea because their tonsils and adenoids are enlarged due to their allergies. Also, sleep apnea can cause failure to thrive. I think it is totally worth bringing up to the doctor, but I am also hesitant because I dont want her to think we are total crazy hypochondriacs. I am going to beg my Dad to come with us so maybe she wont think that.

So all in all, it doesnt get any better than the weekend I had. Unfortunately the Sox opening day game has been canceled due to rain, but you betcha I'll be watching tomorrow at 4:00 PM! Swing batter batter SWWWIINNG!

A day off

It's been a while but Mommy and the girls are playing hooky today! Upon me telling Hannah this last night, she was a little upset that she didnt know how to play this hooky game! HA! Yesterday my father had taken her on some errands and when they returned he had told me she had fallen asleep from one errand to the next. This was at 10:00 AM so right there I knew something was up. She then asked if she could curl up on the dog bed, (which I had gotten her in case she ever needed to nap at the office) and off she went to lay down. Within 5 minutes she was out cold and then slept for 2 more hours. When she got up.. BINGO 102.5 fever. I took her home, checked her ears (fine) and gave her Tylenol and she was fine the rest of the night. She still felt warm to me this morning though so we decided it was time we all took a break and just stayed home. I am sure it is just a virus that needs to run it's course and hopefully she will be bouncing around again tomorrow. However, I am totally welcoming this day! I will say that I had wished the girls would have slept past 6:00AM but all the same, we will hopefully get to snuggle up and nap this afternoon.

Layla cakes had a terrific week last week. She was sleeping better and going down in the pack n play at night (hates her crib). That is until Friday and then the sleeping all went to crap. Something is bothering her stomach and she is waking up in much distress and gas pains. She had tough nights Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She had a good night Monday and then Billy said she was up all night last night (I was on Hannah duty). So not too sure what is going on there and why she keeps having these restless nights. I am still waiting to hear on blood work for her and we have been sending stool samples to the lab as well. I am going to have to give the Pediatrician a call today to see what is going on as far as the results on these tests. That being said, I do feel as though she is starting to gain weight. She is feeling heavier to me and we will have to see what her weight reads when we go for her 18 month appointment next week. (AH 18 months already!)

On another note, I am so exceptionally thrilled for this weekend. Billy and I are celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary and literally the first time we have been away for a night together since our honeymoon! We are catching the Bruins/Rangers game on Saturday in Boston and then we are staying at The Lenox Hotel in a luxurious room thanks to my dear friend Helen who upgraded us to a fantastic room complete with a fireplace! I truly feel like a kid in a candy store! This will be my first time leaving Layla all night and I hope I haven't inflicted too much on my parents for watching them! HA! I told my Dad to get a good night's sleep on Friday because Saturday he surely wouldn't! He is very excited to be watching them though and I am sure things will go smoothly as the girls adore their Papa.

That's all she wrote for today and I must go have some QT with the girls before this day flies by and I am left wondering where it went!

HAPPY 34th Birthday DENISE!!!!!

Happy Friday

Well all in all it has been a good week for us. The kids seem to be healthy and I am noticing a change in Layla. I feel like she is happier and I am starting to notice more milestones with her as well. She decided to sing Happy Birthday in Church yesterday and it was quite ironic because the whole reason we were in Church was for my Mama's Birthday remembrance. Hmmm is she in tune to Mama or what? Maybe because they share the name Viola? Anyhow it was a hoot to hear her sing as it goes something like this, "Happeeeee Dtoooyouuuu." Speaking of remembrances of Mama, my Hannah had gone upstairs to change her pants for Church because she had spilled water on them. She came downstairs in a whole new outfit and upon me asking her why she said, "Well I know it is Mama's Birthday so I wanted to wear something with butterflies for her." Ahhhhh These are the times where my heart literally bursts with love for my girls. These are the times when I realize how very fortunate I am to be a Mom.

I am glad that it is Friday and we have another fun filled weekend ahead of us. Birthday parties and Baby Showers! I am also looking forward to spending some time with my friend Shannon this evening as she continues to fill my brain with all the wonderful aspects of Photoshop & Lightroom. She is my mentor and I, humbly her apprentice! HA! Maybe someday.. I will be able to do something with this passion. Until then, I will continue to learn all that I can.. or as much as my sleep deprived brain can handle.

I will leave today posting the lyrics to one more of my favorite songs by Kenny Chesney. Although the days can sometimes be a struggle and the nights long and sleepless, THANK GOD FOR KIDS!

If it weren't for kids have you ever thought

There wouldn't be no Santa Clause

Look what the stork just brought

Thank God for Kids

We'd all live in a quiet house

Without Big Bird or a Mickey Mouse

And Kool-aid on the couch

Thank God for Kids

Thank God for kids there's magic for a while

A special kind of sunshine in a smile

Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?

The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

Daddy how does this thing fly?

A hundred other where's and why's

You really don't know but we try

Thank God for Kids

When you look down in those trustin eyes

That look to you, you realize

Its love that you can't buy

Thank God for Kids

Thank God for there's magic for a while

A special kind of sunshine in a smile

Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?

The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

When you get down on your knees tonight

To thank the Lord for his guiding light

And pray they turn out right

Thank God for Kids

Thank God for Kids

Congratulations to all those babies born this week and looking forward to more in the coming weeks! Welcome to the world Grant and Chloe!

Skip's Update

The Skipper has epilepsy. This is probably going to sound strange of me to say, but what a relief! I think all of us were afraid that it would be worse. Epilepsy can be treated and with the proper medication, it can be controlled. Oddly enough, they are finding that epilepsy may be linked to gastrointestinal issues and Celiacs.. and anyone who knows Skip, knows of his gastrointestinal issues! He sees his doctor today and will have more information then.

They say the lights are bright on Broadway!

What a whirlwind fun-filled weekend we had! Friday night we headed to my Uncle's 40th birthday celebration and we dropped the kids off at Auntie Leanne's and Uncle Dan's house. They had a blast playing with their cousins and Dan and Leanne survived watching 4 kids! Saturday morning we went and ran all of our errands and then we were off to Olivia's birthday party at the Little Gym. The girls thoroughly enjoyed themselves and even little Layla enjoyed keeping up with all the 4 and 5 year olds. She was a trooper testing out the balance beam and jumping all about. Hannah realized how much she missed dancing and I really have to get her back into some sort of dance class. The kid certainly has some moves. (Put that on my to-do list!) Saturday evening Leanne and Dan moved the party on over to our house and dropped off cousin Arielle and Addison so that they could attend a 30th birthday celebration. The girls were excellent. Layla had already gone down to sleep and Miss Addy went right down as well. Arielle and Hannah played dress up and Candyland before I read them a story (Snow White as requested by Arielle) and off to bed for them. (I can totally do 4 kids!) They both went down in Hannah's bed and I put the monitor on so I could hear them. I have to say, the conversations were hysterical! Billy came home from hockey and the two of us had more laughs listening to the two of them converse.

Yesterday was a big day for us again. Auntie Paula, Leanne and I took Arielle and Hannah to go see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. What an amazing Mommy moment I had being able to share this experience with Hannah. It has been a long time since I have gone to see a show and it was so great to have a daughter to share my passion with. The girls dressed in their best and completely took in the whole experience. They were both so good and much fun was had by all. I am so excited to be able to share so many more experiences like this with my two daughters. As a child I had always wanted to star in Broadway and since that ship has totally sailed, I am thinking that maybe one of the girls will share this passion and possibly do something with it. We shall see.

Still waiting on test results from the Skipper...hopefully he will have them today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE PAULA~! xoxoxoxoxo

Life has been a bit chaotic recently to say the least! Lately I am not sure if I am coming or going and just when I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. wham! LOL I know that "this too shall pass" and I am hoping that a good night's sleep tonight will help brighten my spirits.

We heard from Layla's Boston Dr. again the other night as he had called to let us know that he sat down with the pathologist to go over the biopsy results. The biopsies did show that there was microscopic infection however, it also showed that her intestine was regenerating (making new cells). This means that her intestine is healing itself. Therefore he feels as though she had some sort of intestinal infection that has taken her system a long time to recover from, but she is recovering. Though this is how he feels, he also wants to rule out a few more things such as a parasite or an immune system disorder. These tests will probably get done the beginning of next week and thus hopefully we can rule them out. I felt good after talking to him the other night. However, that being said, I am not wholeheartedly sold on this idea. There is something in me that keeps telling me I should push for the colonoscopy. I dont know what or why or anything more than it is this little voice inside my head. I dont want to overreact so I am trying to ignore it, but at the same time I dont want to under react and have the situation get worse. What to do? She still isnt acting right and literally screamed for 45 minutes this morning. Then she had a BM and she was fine? Do not read anymore if you get grossed out but the BM was black and tar like? On Sunday she had one that literally looked like grey clay? I have a call into my Pediatrician to discuss test results and whatnot and I am thinking about bouncing the colonoscopy thing off her and see what she has to say. Furthermore, Layla has a nasty cold and she is just miserable on top of everything else, although I did finally get her to go down for a nap! That's a plus!

Dr. Verhave also wanted her to have a food allergy skin test done which we did yesterday. (Not so much fun) If you remember, she had the blood tests done to show allergies and they showed that she was allergic to soy (moderately) and peanut (moderately) and it was also certain that she had the milk protein allergy as well. Yesterday's results showed that yes indeed she is allergic to soy moderately as well as oats (who knew?) but that the peanut allergy is severe. (Can you imagine if I hadn't done this testing?) Severe enough that the doctor felt as though when we had the incident back at Halloween, that she never actually ingested the peanut butter because if she had, he felt as though we would have been in a more severe of a situation. So if her face and lips blew up and welted just from touching it, can you imagine if she ingested it? SCARY! It's easy to keep grips on it at home because we are a peanut free home, but this could get a bit tricky when she is in other people's care and when she is school age. I know I'll be a basket case about it. Needless to say we have the Epi pen on us at all times.

This is what her back looked like after the testing. The smaller swollen area is the histamine that is supposed to be what they check the others against... The huge one is the peanut. Much larger than the histamine. The nurse actually said it was off the charts.

I am glad to announce that Miss Hannah seems to be healthy these days. She has taken a liking to scrapbooking and has begun to scrapbook pictures of her and her daddy from their father and daughter dance she had. I have to say, she is pretty good at it. Give the kid a pair of scissors and let her go to town! I will add that every time I put them in her hands I have to give her the speal about how if she touches her hair with them I am shaving her head. Her teacher told me again this week that Hannah is a pleasure to have in class and I am grateful that she saves her antics for home, rather than school.. HA! She is also still faithfully wearing her furry boots to school and has not given me a problem since I bought them. RELIEF! Problem solved! Soon enough the Spring will be here and she can wear her flowy dresses and flip flops and the harmony will be restored in our household!


On a down note, what's bugging me the most this week is that my dearest and bestest friend Skip suffered from a grand mal seizure on Sunday. Getting this call really knocked me for a loop. He had an "episode" back in December during the night yet it was never actually confirmed to be a seizure. So this whole situation is extremely scary. I thank the heavens above that his wife was home. Although I am sure he took a good 5 years off her life and I truly cant imagine how scary this was for her to witness. I am so grateful he wasnt alone. His neurologist is saying that he is most likely out of work for at least 6 months and he is not allowed to watch his daughter alone, drive, or do anything alone for that matter. This is pure torture for any human being. Yet if you knew Skip, this is beyond pure torture for him. I feel helpless and lost. I keep frantically trying to find a way to make this all better but the truth of the matter is that there IS no way to make this better. We just have to pray that he can get answers, and pray that the answers will allow him to lead a somewhat normal life and allow him to live a long life. We have been through the good, the bad and the ugly as friends and I pray that this is just another bump in the road. My head is spinning and if I go into any further how this affecting me then I'll lose it, so I will end it there. Please keep Skip and his family in your prayers in this time of need! I will update soon.

Back at one

It seems as though we are back at one with Layla. To say I was bummed yesterday with her results is an understatement. Again, do not get me wrong, I am thrilled that it seems as though she does not have Celiac's Disease, but I was also hoping that the biopsies would show something more definitive so we could treat it, get this baby girl feeling better and move on.

What the results did show was that she has microscopic inflammation. Which certainly means that something is up and we are not crazy, but the answer to "what is up" will take more tests, more appointments and therefore more time to figure out. I am pretty disheartened at this although I will plug forward as I am determined and committed to figuring this all out for my Layla cakes.

Microscopic inflammation can mean several things including that she could have an infection that just cant seem to get better. Or that she could be getting frequent reoccurring infections. He seemed to think it was more of the frequent reoccurring infections because we have been dealing with this for so long.

On a positive note, the blood work and biopsies showed that she is getting nutrients (relief) yet, her body is still not absorbing everything. He also mentioned that this could be affecting her moods as although we are feeding her constantly, if her body isnt absorbing everything than she is not getting the "full" feeling and may still be hungry. I am determined to tackle this head on as she is a tough eater and usually turns her head up at most food or will take a few bites and be done.

Being that the Dr. feels as though this is a reoccurring infection, he wants to order more blood work as to see if it could be an immune system deficiency. Her IGA levels from her blood work are still off and this would indicate and immune system issue.

Also we need to see a nutritionist to try and beef up her calories and maybe add a supplement to her formula to get the high caloric content in. In essence we need to see if we can get her to gain weight without totally blowing up her stomach and causing more uncomfortableness.

I spoke with her pediatrician last night and she is recommending that we see another allergist as well to get more definitive test results by doing a scratch test instead of just blood work. She, like myself, also feels as though a colonoscopy may be scheduled in the near future judging from her symptoms and her frequent belly pain and night awakenings. I mentioned this to Dr. Verhave as well however, he thinks we should do step 1 and step 2 before putting her through the evasive test of a colonoscopy although it was something he felt we should be considering after step 1 and step 2.

So what does this all mean? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We are back at one without an official diagnosis and without a way to make this all better!
I have the allergist appointment scheduled for next Tuesday and I am waiting to hear back from the Boston Nutritionist. We have increased her Zantac and her gas drops and we shall see if this makes a difference. I will say that she woke up several times last night and was able to put herself back to sleep quickly. Only twice did I have to help her and both times it was less than 5 minutes and she was back to sleep. This was so much better than the past several nights of her waking up at least once an hour.

I am completely determined to get to the bottom of all this and I do have faith that we will. I think that the lack of sleep has added to me being a bit discouraged but I do know that better days are ahead and this is just another bump in the road in the journey of Motherhood.

xoxoxoxoxo

and the time flies by, ever so quickly

Well we embarked on yet another major milestone this weekend. Yes, Miss Hannah had her very first date. With Daddy that is! Her very first Father Daughter Dance. I really can't believe the time has come for my bitty bean to be grown into a little lady. Seriously! This kid was born at 5lbs only 4 and a half very short years ago and there we stood Saturday night as Daddy put a wrist corsage on her. You bet your stars that Mommy was hysterically crying!

It seemed almost surreal to me as the girls played in the yard only hours before in the warm weather. Hannah was a filthy mess, hair all a strew. We gave her a shower and glammed her up and in less than an hour she had transformed into this timeless beauty. She literally took my breath away. Never before had I seen her look so grown up and so beautiful. I snapped as many pictures as she let me get away with and then I sent them on their way.

I think Billy was just as excited to share this special first with her as well. He looked so dapper all dressed up! He said he had a great time watching Hannah flit all about the dance floor. He got an even bigger kick out of her begging him to dance with her once "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" came on. Billy also said that Hannah was the best dressed and I have to thank Auntie Melisa for that. Once again she saved my butt with the beautiful dress!

I decided to have my own "date night" with Miss Layla and we headed to Michaels to finish some of our secret crafts that we are doing. Then we hit Panera where the kid was literally the talk of the place. I cant tell you how many people came up to me to comment on how beautiful she was from her posture to her big brown eyes! It was really nice to have so many people pay attention to her. It truly warmed my heart.

Now I must make the phone call to Boston to see if there are any results back on Miss Layla... more to come.. I hope.. but I will leave you with some gorgeous pictures of my beautiful girls...

This picture was to prove that I did not force her to wear tights!

This was her KitchenAid Mixer pose! LOL

Layla

Yesterday was Layla's endoscopy up in Boston. It was quite the crazy morning! We woke up to a total whiteout and Hannah's school was canceled. Billy had to go into work and I was left wondering how on earth I was going to trek it up to Boston on my own in such horrible conditions. Thankfully, Grammy came to the rescue with Hannah. We headed over to Grammy's at 7:30 to drop Miss Hannah off and by the power of the man above, Billy was able to leave work and drive us up to Boston. Thankfully, once we got on the road, it wasn't nearly as bad as we thought it was going to be. This is not to say that we didnt see cars stranded off the road every few miles, but I will say, the road conditions were a LOT better than I had expected and most people stayed off the roads, which also helped our commute in.

Layla did great! I was so worried that she would be so upset over not eating, but we seemed to keep her entertained enough so that she didnt think about it. The GI procedure unit was fantastic (as we expected) from the nurses on up to Dr. Manfredi who performed the procedure. Everyone was so kind and accommodating. They all fell in love with Layla (as it is difficult not too). It was a bit surreal for me to hold her and watch her go under anesthesia as it had been me with Hannah so many times before, but I was prepared and fared well.

It seems as though she carried her big sister's trend for coming out of it though and she had quite the time. Thankfully we had told the anesthesia doctors that this could be a possibility due to Hannah's reactions to it and they were able to give Layla morphine to take the edge off. About an hour and a half later, she woke up just fine and was back to being Layla again.

Dr. Manfredi came out to talk to us right after the procedure and informed us that the procedure had gone well and her villi looked normal as did everything else. We were relieved and yet confused. (If that makes sense.) Dr. Verhave seemed to think she was showing all of the classic symptoms of Celiacs, however, if the villi isnt damaged, then I highly doubt that this will be the diagnosis... which puts us back at square one again. Although he did say that the biosies are the only sure fire way to detect Celiacs. Dr. Manfredi did say that he took a bunch of biopsies, including one in the stomach that would let us know if she has troubles digesting enzymes. So now we just have to hang tight and see how the biopsies come back and then go from there. This should take 5 to 7 days.

Although we are a bit confused, I have complete faith that her doctors wont stop until they get to the bottom of whatever is going on with Layla. I sure dont want to sound as if I want her to have Celiacs, because that certainly isnt the case and I will be relieved that she wont have to have those diet restrictions for the rest of her life, but at the same time, I am sort of disheartened because I want a diagnosis so that we can treat it and move on! I will remain positive however, and hopefully we will get some answers soon.

We came home to a nice homemade dinner thanks to Grammy and Grampy and we all headed home to sleep our crazy day away!

Monday, March 2nd

Just a quick update to let you know that this morning by 9:30 am, BCH had called to schedule her endoscopy for this coming Monday at 11:30. Talk about prompt service! I cant say enough good things about this hospital!

Relieved and Hopeful

I am relieved and hopeful. We are back from Boston Children's Hospital and once again the treatment we received there is second to none! Dr. Verhave was absolutely fantastic and I truly felt comfortable with him treating Layla. I will tell you that after strike 2 with Hasbro, I will no longer be going there and I plan on telling my Pediatrician this upon my next visit.

Here is what transpired with the visit. Dr. Verhave believes that she is showing all of the classic symptoms of Celiac. Her weight dropping, the fact that she has skinny arms and legs and a distended belly, and of course the uncomfortable fussiness. He also feels that the bloodwork that was done, showed certain signs that SHOULD HAVE given Hasbro the heads up to do more bloodwork. There is a certain level in the blood (for the life of me I cannot remember the 3 letter abbreviation he used and I should have written it down) that should be at a certain place. Layla's is on the low end which is usually what one would see if they have Celiac's Disease. If you remember correctly, the first bloodtest that was done on Layla came back very high for Celiac's the second came back negative. In Dr. Verhave's opinion, this means the tests were inconclusive... not to be confused with negative. The only true way to tell if a person has Celiac is to have an endoscopy done in which case they will take cells and send them out for biopsy. His office will be contacting me within the next 2 days in order to schedule this test for the next week or so.

I will also add (and I apologize for the angry frustration here) that he looked at me and said, "After these blood tests nobody went any further with this?" To which I replied, "No, they suggested the wait and see approach and hence the reason for me coming here." He said that he was surprised that Hasbro didnt do any further testing and I told him, that I wasnt surprised that I should have began with Boston to begin with.

So we shall see what will transpire. He did say that if she did end up being negative for Celiac's he wouldnt leave me high and dry. That most likely she just has a severe allergy to certain foods and we may have to muddle through to figure it out, but that we would figure it out.

So where we stand now is an endoscopy and we will go from there. I am relieved, happy and so glad that the appointment finally arrived. It was a bit surreal to do the drive again as it has been so long. Yet, once I was on the road, all the memories of my sick Hannah came flooding back to me. I tried to explain it all to her, of course she couldnt remember a thing, but it did feel good to explain that connection to her. To let her walk the path that we took to get her on her road to recovery. Thankfully she doesnt remember it, but at the same time, I want her to know what this hospital did for her and I will continue to drill that into her tiny head. I will never forget and I will always be grateful and give back to BCH.

I am signing off for now as I have a sleepy little Layla wanting to go nigh nighs. Til the next post and Happy Birthday dear Jay. This date not only was a significant one for me to get through for Layla, but it also let me know that things would be okay because you are watching over us from above on this which would have been your 30th. Balloons to heaven my friend! I'll meet you at Gillians someday! xoxoxo

Monday Monday

Well here it is Monday and I have to say that for once, I am happy to be back into the routine of things. Our lives have been so hectic these past few weeks that I am actually welcoming this Monday morning to be back at work and I hope that as the week goes on, the rest of the clan will fall back into our working routine. The flu certainly knocked all of us for a loop and no sooner did we start to feel better, we were hit with round 2. The girls are still having some lingering effects as Layla got it the worst. Hannah just seems to be suffering from the chest cold part of it. Both girls are currently laying down in my office and I am certainly appreciating the quiet time! Correction, they are both fast asleep and it is only 9:00AM! I am in shock!



I will say that I am ever so looking forward to Spring and the warmer weather. If not for my state of mind, than for Hannah's. I was smacked back to reality this morning when it came time for her to put her shoes and socks on. Her tantrum lasted just short of an hour and I will say that at one point shoes and socks were flying towards my head. She is so strong willed it is incredibly insane! She hates shoes and socks and anything the least bit restricting! Spring and summer prove to be so much easier for us with wardrobe! She'll throw on a dress and flip flops and there are never ever any arguments about her getting dressed. During the winter however, it is a battle to the end!



Tomorrow is a big day for both Layla and for my friend Shannon. Shannon is saying good bye to her ovaries and hopefully her cancer for good. I know it is an emotional surgery for her and I am sending her well wishes and a great big hug. I had wanted to visit her over the weekend, however, I didnt think a gift of germs would be the best for her at this crucial time.



As for Layla, her appointment with the Boston GI Specialist is tomorrow. I am trying not to get too hopeful as I know this is only our first appointment and I am sure I wont get any answers in one day. However, I am looking forward and truly praying that this doctor treats her proactively as I am tired of sitting back and waiting.. and waiting and waiting. Things still are not on course with Layla and although the formula is helping tremendously, it is also where I firmly believe she is getting 99.9% of her nutrients. She can not possibly solely rely on this formula for the rest of her life so we need some sort of plan of action. Also, I want to know what her intestines look like, bottom line. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is put this baby through a colonoscopy, and the mere thought of the preparation for it scares me to death. Yet, at the same time, my gut is telling me that someone needs to look at what damage has been done to her intestines. I would find it hard to believe that a child that has had severe and chronic diarrhea for 5 months straight wouldnt have any damage? Moreover, we need to rule out Crohns. I wont be happy until we do. The child still wakes up screaming most nights and is truly uncomfortable. I cant tell you how many nights Billy and I have to walk her around the house just to sooth her. It's almost ironic because this is what we use to do with Hannah as an infant due to her being so sick. Layla, Layla was a great baby! Now at 16 months old we are having to use these soothing techniques that most parents wouldnt have to use past a year old. It's frustrating to say the least. So I will be saying many prayers tonight that this doctor will lead us towards the answers we need for my baby girl. I have faith in Boston. I truly do.



Please keep both Layla and Shannon in your prayers tonight! Thank you!




Here are the photo's I have been promising to post.


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We took the girls to the American Girl Doll store a few weekends back. I dont think I have ever seen Hannah so excited. Heck, I dont think I have ever been more excited!

This was how Layla spent most of her time in Florida. For as sick as she was, she was still a little trooper!


My Hannah posing of course

and she was quite the little fish in the pool as well! Complete with earplugs she did exceptionally well!

Layla loved splashing in the ocean!

My Monkey.. monkeying around..

Flu bound

Forgive me for it has been forever since I have been well enough to post! Unfortunately, our Florida trip did not go completely as planned and Miss Layla ended up with the flu shortly after arriving in sunny Naples. From there is was spread to Mommy and we had a horrible flight home on Friday. Unfortunately, Papa ended up sick as a dog as well and we are all just finally getting back on our feet when you guessed it, Miss Hannah came down with it this morning!


We did have a few sunny days to enjoy Florida though and it was so wonderful to be in such warm weather. It was 80 degrees every day and Hannah thoroughly enjoyed being in her summer clothes. For the first time since September, the kid did not argue with me about what to put on! She was up and dressed and outside coloring before 8:00 am every morning! She also loved being able to swim in the pool and did not even put up a fight about having to wear ear plugs! Her surgery went well the prior week and although it took her some time to recover, as soon as the Florida air hit her she was back to being Hannah again.

Layla was a trooper even though she didnt feel well. We first thought that she had gotten the stomach bug as she began vomiting the first night we arrived. Yet as the days passed and she got more and more sick we realized upon two trips to the doctor when we got back, that it was the flu. The poor kid was flat out for 8 days straight and could barely stay awake for more than an hour at a time. She still is not acting herself and we are hoping to get more answers about that when we are up in Boston visiting the GI specialist on Tuesday. She is still waking several times a night screaming in pain. It really is heartbreaking and worrisome.

I promise to write more as soon as I can get caught up on laundry and the work that is quickly accumulating on my desk from being out of work for so long! I also have a few pictures to post of the girls in Florida!