Falling into cooler weather...

Have I said lately how much I love these kids of mine?  I swear if it weren't for them I would be crawled up under a rock somewhere.  They are what keep me going on the good days and even more so on the bad days.  I am so grateful and thankful that they are in my life.  That they are these three, sweet, adorable little beans and that they are mine.  I'm not sure how I got so lucky, or what I ever did to deserve them but I can't even begin to imagine my life without them.  There's nothing more to it.  Period.  End of story!

We spent the Columbus Day weekend up North.  New Hampshire in the Fall is my favorite, although the temperatures were extremely warm that you would have sworn it was the dead of summer.  Thankfully, the foliage was so breathtaking that it reassured me that this surely was the Fall Season.  We visited our favorite craft fair and I even picked up a few Christmas presents.  I have this thing for the painted wooden country signs with the cute sayings.  Let's just say that the ones I chose fit the people I chose them for perfectly!  The kids then headed up to Loon's Octoberfest with Billy and the rest of the gang while I hung back with Cam so that he could go down for his nap.  Mama ended up snuggling up and catching herself a few winks herself.  Don't remember the last time I did that!  We spent the rest of the weekend visiting our favorite spots.  Sugar Hill Sampler, Harmon's Cheese Shop and the candy store.  I stocked up on my favorite Cider Tea at the Sugar Hill Sampler.  If you ever get there, it's a must have!  We carved pumpkins and raked leaves into a pile so that the kids could jump in.  Seven kids in total and yet you would never even know it.  They were so well behaved!  Sunday night I decided to head to one of the famous moose sighting spots.  (Yes, I am still obsessed with seeing one)  Hannah came along and we began our drive on the Kangamangus.  The traffic coming back into town was ridiculous so I was glad we were heading north and not stuck in it.  As we were driving, Hannah said she wasn't feeling well.  I told her to close her eyes and try to rest.  25 minutes later, I found our spot and it was exactly dusk.  (Best time to see a moose)  We got out of the car and Hannah was just not right.  I felt her head and yes, she was burning up.  I grabbed a blanket for her and we sat on a rock for barely five minutes waiting for a moose.  I knew I had to get her back home and back in the car we went.  (Again, no moose!)  The poor kid was so sick she was whimpering on the way home.  Heading south was a complete traffic jam and it took us forever to get home.  I got her up the stairs just in time and that was it.  Banana just about made it to the bathroom before she got sick.  We were up the entire night with her, but thankfully by morning she had begun to feel a bit better and her fever was down.  We packed it up and headed on home as Layla now had begun to feel warm and my stomach was not right. 


It seems as though we all ended up with a touch of something and now we are all suffering with these nasty colds.  Blech!  I feel so bad for the kids as they can hardly breath and their noses are all pouring.  Layla had a rough day at school yesterday and they said she was just not her usual, spunky self.  I brought her home and on the couch she stayed for the rest of the evening.  Cam's face is all chapped from his nose running and he is just not his happy self.  He hardly ate a bite of lunch and is currently conked out in the pack n play.  Billy went to bed at 8:00PM last night, so I know he is not feeling well either.  I am just feeling plain yucky.  It is the type of day where all you want to do is stay on the couch and watch movies.  Then again, that would only take place in my "Stay at Home Mom" pipe dream.  Hopefully we can get healthy again by the weekend.  We have birthday parties to attend.  Hockey practice, CCD and Hannah has her first game.  Fingers crossed we get on the mend! 


I was able to get an hour and half out with Hannah after work yesterday.  DATE afternoon!  We never get much time just the two of us and I was feeling quite guilty that that the child was suffering in the clothes department.  Everything is too small on her and she just doesn't have many clothes at all.  The other two get tons of hand me downs (TY Ant Denise) to add to what they get for their birthdays and Hannah doesn't get this.  She is the oldest and the biggest.  We didn't have the money to go back to school shopping this year so she has just been making do.  Plus the weather has been so warm that she was able to just continue to wear her summer things.  I scraped some money together and out we went yesterday!  She was so excited and so happy to be buying some new things.  We got her some great boots at Target and finally some new underwear!  Then we headed on over to Childrens Place and picked up a few long sleeved shirts and a jean skirt.  We tried our best to make the money I had stretch as much as we could and she was really good about.  (It drives me crazy how expensive clothes are... especially for kids!)  She was happy!  Her night was complete when her Halloween Costume arrived when we got home.  I was happy to have her feel special for the day.  She deserves it.  We finished the evening out with completing her homework.  She had to find a favorite poem and be prepared to read it to the class.  She chose "My Special Diet" by Kenn Nesbitt.  I have to share it because I just love it too much.  And if you heard her read it you would be grinning from ear to ear. 

My Special Diet

Fish sticks, Tater Tots,

Candy bars, baloney,

Ice cream, Bubble Gum,

Cheesy Macaroni.

This is all I ever eat

Don't knock it til' you try it,

I haven't lost a single pound,

But still I love my diet!

Love it!  The little booger!  I am a smidge concerned about her however.  She woke up yesterday complaining of neck pain on the left side.  It seemed to get a little better by night time but this morning it was worse.  She was crying this morning because it hurt so badly and she had a tough time getting a shirt over her head.  I had assumed that she had just slept wrong the night before but now that it is getting worse I am a little concerned.  At her check up last week, Dr. Sowa mentioned her ear tubes were out.  (great.. ugh)  The left ear is her worst ear and this is also the one where the hemangioma is wrapped around her Eustachian tube.  It's hard not to think that something could be going on here.  I'm sorry, I know it sounds neurotic, but after going through what I went through with her, I will never question my worry.  I told her we would give it one more day to see if it gets any better and then I would take her in to see Dr. Sowa.  I am hoping it is just a little muscle ache or maybe some achy glands from her cold.  Fingers crossed she'll feel better by morning.  

Happy Thursday!

xo



PS:  HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHANNY (OCTOBER 8th).. MY TWO TIME BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR!  LOVE AND BLESSINGS!  TO MANY MORE YEARS OF BEING CANCER FREE!

Good Bye Summer 2011

Five days and counting.  Five days til my sweet baby Layla enters preschool.  I'm a wreck.  It hit me on the way home from our New Hampshire vacation Sunday night.  We were in the car and one second I was fine, the next I was a sobbing mess.  The realization of being back into the daily grind and entering my hell week was a little too much for me to bare.  This happens to be the busiest week of my summer and yet, it is the last week I have to be with my girls before they begin school.  To be home was the last thing I wanted. 


We had such an amazing time up north.  New Hampshire in the fall is always my favorite but the time we had there last week was second to none.  All of the kids truly enjoyed themselves and it felt so good to "check out" of reality and just be.  With no worries, no responsibilities and no anxiety.  We took the kids to Six Gun City, Story Land, up Loon Mountain, Sugar Hill, Harman's Cheese Store...  you name it, we did it.  Billy and I even found time to take a Moose Tour.  Something I had been dying to do since meeting him 8 years ago.  Every time we head up to my in laws house in Lincoln, we pass the little booth that has the tours.  Every year I say I want to do it.  We finally did.  We signed up for the 10:45PM tour and headed out loaded up on coffee.  I was so excited, it felt like Christmas to me.  I have always wanted to see a moose.  I know it's strange, but it's just this thing I have.  I want to see a moose.  Up close.  I just think they are so cute.  People think I'm nuts but I don't care.  The tour has 100% sightings.  Do you think we saw a freakin moose?  NOOOOOOO! (Well not really anyhow)  Within the first ten minutes of the bus ride, we pulled over and the spotlight outside the bus came on.  Apparently out in the distance there was a moose between the trees.  I jumped out of my seat and to the opposite side of the bus to peer out the window and in that split second the moose turned and was out of sight.  Seriously?  The rest of the night.. NOTHING!  We went to all the popular moose spots and still nothing.  The bus pulled off the road and made moose mating sounds on a loud speaker...but no moose.  Darnit!  I was so dead set on seeing a darn moose that I made Billy take me out again at dusk the following night to search again.  We sat at a famous moose spot with the kids for over a half hour with binoculars.  NOTHING.  Blech.  I'm going to see one... I tell you.  One of these days!!!! 


I also got to see the Mount Washington Hotel for the first time ever.  All the years of going up north and never have I ever seen such a beautiful place!  It was hands down gorgeous.  Mom Murphy, Leanne and I headed up to have some cocktails on the back porch.  I was mystified at the beauty and serenity of the place.  It was like the New Hampshire version of the Spring House Hotel on Block Island.  I was in love!  There were fresh colorful hydrangea arrangements all over the lobby.  Beautiful chandeliers and of course, a moose head.  (LOL)  It was such a gorgeous night and we very much enjoyed our girl time surrounded by the beauty of the mountains with our cocktails in hand!  I'm making a mental note to someday have enough money to go back there and stay with both my parents and my in laws.  Putting it on my Bucket List.


Back to the whole "Moose" thing.  I know I am being redundant but we also got to see an exhibit at the Flume Gorge called, "Forever Locked."  It was something else.  Two bull moose got their antlers stuck together during a fight.  One moose's antler literally pierced the other moose's.  The antlers were so stuck that neither could escape.  The moose died this way.  They were stuffed and they now go on display all over the country.  So glad we got to see it especially since that was as close as I was getting to a moose this trip. 


As you can see, we just had such a great time together as a family while enjoying my in laws and nieces as well.  It's so difficult to get back in the swing of things especially during such a crazy week.  I seem to be okay with Hannah going to 2nd grade.  Does it bother me, yes, but I am also use to her routine because we have done it for 2 years.  It's comfortable to me.  I know what to expect.  Plus she is my independent one.  Would I love to keep her home forever?  Uh YES!  Hands down YES!   However, not having my Layla three days a week is making my heart ache.  I know you all probably think I am stupid for feeling this way, but I cant help it.  She is my baby girl.  (Yes Thank God I still have Cameron at home)  It's just such a different feeling.  I remember feeling this way with Hannah when it was time to let go a bit.  But Hannah was so strong and by this point I knew with all my heart that she was healthy.  That she'd be okay.  Wise beyond her years.  Han always seemed advanced to me, even at a young age.  With Layla, I just worry so much.  With all of her food allergies and peanut allergy.  The peanut allergy freaks me out.  Her asthma.  How she likes to rest often during the day and doesn't have to be doing something all the time.  She always gets so sick with everything that I am so afraid exposing her to all the germs that come along with school is really going to do her in.  She has no immune system and gets everything ten times worse than everyone else.  I am a worried mess.  Moreover, she is 3 and a half, but yet, she is a young 3.  I feel like she still needs me so much.  I'm afraid that what I am about to learn is the exact opposite.  That I need her more than she needs me.  She's where I get all of my cuddles and love from.  She never goes an hour without telling me she loves me.  She constantly tells me I look like a princess and she is constantly wanting to wrap her arms around me and be as close as possible.  She still says, "Mommy, hold you," when she wants to be held.  I hope she says it that way for the rest of her life!   She still sometimes wakes in the night and yells out for me, wanting to be cuddled by me.  Last night she couldn't fall asleep until I put her in my bed and we cuddled ourselves to sleep.  In my eyes, she's still my baby.  I am just not ready for her to be.. well to be out there... exposed.  Exposed to kids who may be mean to her or may hurt her feelings.  I just want to protect her, like all my kids, from hurt.  I want to keep her little, just a little bit longer.


That being said and now that you all think I have flipped my lid, I know I have to let go... just a smidge though.  I know preschool is where she belongs and where she will thrive.  I am putting her first by doing this, since technically she doesn't have to go until next year with her late birthday.  I know that this is what is best for her and she needs to be surrounded by other children and learn the age appropriate things.  I know this is right, but it doesn't make it easy for me.  I know that this is something she is excited about and even though I vent my feelings here, I wont do it in front of her.  That's not to say that I will skip the mascara and eye makeup on Monday, because I know they will be of no use due to my tears.  I am hopeful that once we are in a routine, I will get use to not having her little face smiling up at me in my office.  No.. sorry.. there is no way that I am not going to miss that.  Though I will put my game face on and see this through. 


I always hate this part of year when summer ends.  It always seems to be a tough transition for me.  For the kids too.  I am looking on the brighter side and very much looking ahead towards the Fall.  There is so much to look forward to and it is my favorite season of all.  I am going to try and remain positive about all of this and just plug on forward.  As I always say, I am blessed.  Blessed to have this life that I have and blessed to have these three angels to dance around in my life.