"Mommy, it says I can have this."

This is just one example of how I love the way Layla speaks and how her mind works. While watching me eat my lunch she discovers a bag of croutons. Picks it up, studies the back and says, "Mommy, it says I can have this." Spoken from a true blue severe peanut allergy kid! There are so many times when I feel terrible that she cant have certain foods. This is getting more difficult as she gets older and is more able to understand that other children can have foods that she cant. Sometimes it truly breaks my heart. Yet, then there are the times when there are yummy foods she can have and once we've checked and have given the okay, she is deliriously excited! So it is almost as if the not being able to eat certain things makes the things she can eat, that much better! (Does that make sense?)

The poor bit is out of sorts today as she was up most the night with asthma issues. Darn, we were doing so good. She is still struggling this afternoon and I am contemplating a dose of prednisone when we get home. Thinking it might be a good idea so that she can get at least a few hours of sleep tonight. Thankfully, she hasn't given me a struggle with the inhalers. Hoping to get it under control and get her back on her feet!

This was her sleeping on me last night during the Bruin's game. She had woken up with a night terror and I carried her down so I could watch the last period of the game. I don't know how she was sleeping with Billy screaming profanities at the television. He is a die hard fan and I have to allow him this "guy" time to scream his comments, however, I think there were some words in there that I have never heard before! Then of course with the Bruin's scoring in overtime, I screamed and woke the ravioli up. Poor kid. She didn't know what hit her.

Mr. Cam is also not himself today and I am almost sure it is his teeth. He's been fussy and clingy. Once I gave him some Tylenol, he seemed to settle down a bit. He is drooling and biting his hands (and mine!). He is sleeping soundly now. Looking so very sweet curled up in the pack n' play. Needless to say, he still manages to be his Happy Go Lucky self when he is eating and lately, I have had to strip him down before feeding him. He makes SUCH A MESS! LOL Food goes flying everywhere during his feedings! He is such a BOY! (A very cute one at that!)

Hannah Banana is the same ol' Hannah Banana. Full of fun and surprises and constantly giving me stress in the mornings when getting dressed! The child is me when I was thirteen. Yet she is only SIX ... and a half (I hate that half part!) I swear, every day she tries to put these outfits together that don't match in the least bit and that usually don't even make sense! LOL For the most part, I roll with it, but sometimes.. the stress gets to me. I am getting this back 10 fold as my parents always warned me I would. So here is my public apology... I'M SOOOO SORRY MOM for the way I used to try and dress. I GET IT now. I SOOOO GET IT! LOL We have been working on Hannah's math skills and trying to teach her to not use her fingers to count. The other day while we were practicing, I saw her turn from me a few times and I kept telling her not to use her fingers. Finally she turned to me and said, "Mom.. I'm not using my fingers! I'm using my toes!" (Always a step ahead of the game she is that spitfire!) "You didn't say anything about me not being able to use my toes!" Right she was.

Lately, I have been noticing the three of them bonding a lot. Granted there are times when I have to break up the screaming fights, but I feel as though now that Cameron is getting bigger there is more of a bond between the three of them. He wants to be with them at all times and the girls treat him like a little baby doll. Always watching out for him. Making sure he wont get hurt. Hannah and Layla too, are bonding much more. Layla is constantly making Hannah laugh with her silliness. I LOVE to watch this! It's always those deep down belly laughs... warms my heart. I also see them cuddling in bed at night and THAT just melts me! I don't care what anyone says. I love the fact that they share a room. They will remember all the memories that came along with sharing a room, well into their thirties at least. I am fortunate enough to remember all the great memories with Julie and I when we shared a room. I even remember my mother saying, "I'm losing my patience!" when we would giggle too much at night. Which would send us more into a roaring fit because then we would tease.. "Yes, Mom.. we see your patients walking right down the hallway." Memories... oh how I love memories! :)

I took this picture the other morning. Neither one of them even knew I took it but I couldn't even handle the sweetness of this moment!

Spring has Sprung!

The weather has been so absolutely tremendous this week! How could you not be in a good mood? The trees are blooming. The flowers are sprouting. Our tulips are flaunting their beautiful colors. Spring is here and I couldn't be more thrilled! Easter day was magnificent! We had a lovely day visiting friends and family and it was quite relaxing. The kids got a huge kick out of the "Bunny Tracks" left all over the house by Mr. Easter Bunny. (Thanks to the help of some baby powder and fingerprints!) Layla is still talking about how there are tracks all over the place!

My Hannah banana lost ANOTHER tooth yesterday. ANOTHER! She is going to be toothless soon as she has yet another wobbly one working it's way out. I can't believe how big this kid has grown! I had her education night last night at her school. I thoroughly enjoyed it and loved that I was able to experience the way she is taught in the classroom. It is so magical to see how far she has come, especially with reading. I loved socializing with her teachers and meeting new teachers that she may have in the future. Everyone was so very nice and it turned out to be a great evening. Second grade.. just around the corner.. my baby girl.... Wasn't I just holding this 5lb miracle in my arms like last week?

Layla cakes and Cameron are also doing well. The two are quite the crazy pair and Layla continues to crack us up on a daily basis. Her choice of words is just down right hysterical to no end. Cameron is the Cameron MONSTER! (In a good way) I just turned around and found him to have climbed up on Layla's desk and he was standing on top of it. HOLY COW! I am waiting for him to take that first step. I can't believe we are already at this point with him. A whole year has almost gone by. He is still my lovable little guy and loves to snuggle with his Mama.. which I am so very grateful for!

I finally went to the doctor on Saturday for the crazy sore throat I had been having. I had literally had it for three weeks and it felt like I was swallowing shreds of glass. I was too scared to get it checked, which was why I waited so long. (Knowing that my bad habit of smoking cigars with Dad probably was not the best idea) Thankfully it was just an infection and after a few days of antibiotics I feel a world better!

I just finished reading Firefly Lane, by Kristen Hannah. Great book! I pretty much bawled through the last 5 chapters.. and I mean.. bawled. To the point where I woke up and my eyes were still red and puffy. It was a great read and I highly suggest it to anyone looking for a good book. I am a huge fan of Elin Hilderbrand and Kristen Hannah is now right up there next to her.

I was able to get out and walk this week too. I love when the weather begins to turn and I can get a good evening walk in with the cool breeze blowing. I swear it makes everything feel better. Although, I do have to find a good playlist to walk to. Sometimes the sappy love songs don't keep me at a good pace! LOL I am hoping that we will be able to work out a good evening walking schedule with my McGuire girls. I did buy a pair of Sketcher Shape Ups, which up until the point when I put them on and walked, thought they were a crock.. but let me tell you... I could not get out of bed the next day! My whole body was sore. My legs, glutes, calves... everything ached as if I had done legs at the gym! So take it from me, they work. Anything to help me get in better physical shape these days!

I am looking forward to a fantastic Spring spending time with friends and family. As my girl Ana says, "I'm getting all the chores and projects done now, so we can have a summer full of grilled pizza and margaritas!" Doesn't get much better than that!

Happy Spring!

Easter Preparations!

Happy Friday! This week FLEW by! I am so glad that I was able to do a few fun things with the kids and take the time to truly enjoy Hannah's vacation week. Mom and Dad are HOME! That was surely my highlight of this past week. Months without seeing them, is just way too long. I love coming into the office and seeing my Dad's face in the morning. He is my rock. My idol. My "go-to" man! To say that I am a "Daddy's Girl" would be a complete understatement! LOL They are home and I am happy!

We were able to go see "Rio" Wednesday night, which was sponsored by the PTA. It turned out to be a great evening complete with pizza and unlimited popcorn and soda for only $7 per ticket. What's better than that? The kids loved it and even Mr. Cameron had fun and was such a good little Cannelloni! I have been trying to get more involved with the PTA these days to try and make the school a better place for my Hannah. (In all my spare time of course) I think that with more parent involvement and more people caring about the school, it could really be a great institution for these kids. I am hoping to rally the troops for next year and organize some really great events for the kids and their families.

My mother in law greatly helped me out this week and took the girls a few days while I worked. I was stressing having all three in the office with me. Thankfully she came to the rescue and spent some quality time with them, which they loved. The girls adore their time with her and I am so grateful to have her. I was also able to grab some drinks this week with my mother in law, sisters in law and Auntie Paula. We had more laughs and more fun. I am thinking we are going to have to do that a little more often!

Yesterday, Mom and I made the traditional Italian Rice Pies. Four and a half hours into it, we realized we created a MASTERPIECE! This went so much smoother than last year. We didnt even have to take any extra trips back to the market! Surely Mama was watching us from above. We spent the afternoon laughing and talking and enjoying each other. I soaked up this special time with my Mom. I realize how very important it is to share these wonderful memories with her. It was a blessing.

Easter preparations are in full swing. I was able to get the food shopping done early this morning and I was in and out of the market in no time. I still have to put the kid's baskets together, but I am ahead of the game this year because at least I have all of the items to make the baskets! LOL I just have to add some of Layla's special chocolate (Peanut, soy and milk free). I'm so excited to have THREE little baskets this year to put on the dining room table.

So in other words, LIFE IS GOOD. I am blessed and I am so very thankful to the Lord, for making the ultimate sacrifice. Wishing everyone a very Happy Easter. I hope you are able to wrap yourself in the arms of your family's love, the way I am able to.

Happy Birthday Billy!

Happy 36th to my fantabulous husband. THIRTY SIX! I met this wonderful guy close to 8 years ago and yet our courtship seems like it was only yesterday! Our "awkward" date at Spain.. where we sat as far away from each other as possible in a bundle of nerves... yet we did loosen up quite a bit after cocktails at the Ocean Mist! I remember him opening the car door for me and holding me on the deck of the Ocean Mist overlooking the ocean.. Okay.. wait.. no that was surely a lifetime ago because I havent seen that chivalry since! HA!

Truth be told, we have had our share of good times and bad times. Most importantly we have prevailed through the bad times. Together standing strong. He has given me three of life's most precious gifts and for that I will be forever grateful. I love him through thick and thin. I love him for his humor and I love him even when he leaves his stinky socks all over the house. I love him for being a great Dad and I love him because I simply cannot imagine my crazy life without him! So Happy Birthday Billy! I love you..through and through.

Everything,

Michael Buble

You're a falling star,

You're the get away car.

You're the line in the sand when I go too far.

You're the swimming pool, on an August day.

And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.

Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.

Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.

Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, You make me sing.

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,

And you light me up, when you ring my bell.

You're a mystery, you're from outer space,

You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,

And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,

And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, You make me sing

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, You make me sing.

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're every song, and I sing along.

'Cause you're my everything.

xoxoxo

A jumbled bunch of thoughts

The title pretty much sums up where I am brain wise this evening. I have so many different thoughts all going through my head that I don't even know how to begin to sort them out. Therefore, I am apologizing ahead of time, if this post runs astray. The most prevalent thought at the moment is, "How do you even begin to say goodbye to your child?" In lieu of an old high school classmate and friend of mine, who is doing just that. I began writing this blog years ago as a way of being able to keep track of all the experiences I have with my children. To keep the memories close to my heart and to be able to go back and reread the many milestones they have already encountered. To be able to smile as I read them over and over again and remember these times as if they were just yesterday. As a way for my children to one day know how very much their mother loves them. My love for them has always been overbearing, this I know. I am overwhelmed by the amount of love I have for each of them. Day in and day out, I am consumed with keeping them safe from any and all harm. "Velcro Mom," as I have been dubbed. I never cared what people thought about how much I strive to keep them close to me at all times. I still don't. I never will. For what I fear the most is what the Mandeville family is currently encountering. The loss of a child. There never seems to be enough time in a day to do all the things that I want to do with my children. To cherish every second and literally sit down and play and teach and cuddle and love them. Before I know it, the day is at an end and they are nestled all snug in their beds as I am left wondering where on earth the day went. I suppose this very thought is what was nagging me on Saturday when I decided to forgo the housework and sit down and play. I did just that. I put aside the cleaning, the laundry and the cooking and I played. For four hours straight we laughed and giggled, snuggled and we drew the most amazing scroll pictures as a welcome home present for Nonnie and Papa. I enjoyed every last bit of it. Somehow the cleaning, cooking and laundry got done (or is still getting done) and it didn't really matter that it didn't get done when I intended it to. What mattered, was that I cherished the gift of time with the three little miracles I love the most. This lesson is something I revisit often. I somehow always end up in a vicious cycle of, "I have to get this done now," and "Okay kids, just one second, Mommy has to do this first." I don't want it to be like this anymore. I want to make a change and stick to it. The kids are growing and they are growing so quickly. These are the times when I need to stop, exhale and take them all in. In the blink of an eye, I know the day will come when I will have all the time in the world to do chores. I want to savour these moments with them now while I have them. I live in fear of experiencing what the Mandeville family is currently undergoing. I know that these blessings are a gift from God and when it is time, He calls them home to Him. How can I possibly not see that the most precious gift I have been given is this time with my babies? I see it, I do, but I need to make some changes to ensure that I am soaking up every last bit of them. As the clock ticks on and my eyes are becoming slits, I will leave you with this. I hope that if you do come to visit the Murphy household that you will most certainly understand why it may be cluttered, in need of a vacuum or mopping. Or if you see some dishes and toys strewn about.. you will know that it is only because I spent my day LOVING my children. With that, I am heading to bed with a very full basket of laundry sitting in the middle of the room waiting to be folded and there it shall sit.. . Please keep Bobby Mandeville and his entire family close to your heart and in your prayers as they now have to figure out how to get through their days without their beautiful daughter, Madison.

Spring Fever

The kids and I have definitely got the Spring Fever bug! Yesterday I actually did a photo shoot of them with their umbrellas and rain boots, along with their bathing suits! We are certainly longing for the warmer weather and I know it is just around the corner! I am currently in the beginning stages of starting up Kerri Murphy Photography and I am a bunch of feelings all jumbled inside. It is so scary to begin a business venture in times like these. Yet at the same time, I feel so very fortunate to be able to actually turn one of my dreams into a reality. It's actually happening! I can't wait to be able to market the business and create a satisfied client list. Ahhhh... (that was just me.. taking it all in!) The kids are fantabulous! Hannah lost yet, another tooth. She is so grown up that it is killing me. She has somehow turned into a "mini me" although she still most definitely has her father's personality. They are two peas in a pod! Layla, too has sprouted and grown up so very much. It is heartbreaking and bittersweet at the same time, to see her growing up. Thankfully, she is still my cuddle bug though and I get those night time cuddles with her often. Layla's big news these days is that two nights ago I forgot to put a pull-up on her and yet, she woke up completely dry! We tried again last night. She woke at around 11:00PM to use the bathroom and then again, woke up completely dry! What a milestone for her. I am so proud of this accomplishment. It's almost as if the second I stopped enforcing it and caring about it, is when she really took to it. (Mental note for the next one!) Speaking of the next one.. Mr. Cam is so totally mobile and into EVERYTHING! Did I mention that he is into EVERYTHING? LOL Things my girls never even bothered to notice, this little booga has his hands into. He is scaling furniture and pulling himself up on anything he can find. It is amazing to watch. He is his Mama's little boy and I just melt with his cuddles. Last Sunday I woke up and decided it was time to buy a new couch. Just like that. Billy and I have been doing some renovations in the house and I am just loving how it is all coming together. So I woke up and couches it was. In all honesty.. WE NEEDED to buy a new set. Ours was seriously becoming a health hazard with all the potty accidents, juice stains, milk stains and everything else you could think of soaking in it's cushions. It was for lack of a better word.. DISGUSTING! Off to Jordans we went and we bought this gorgeous chocolate brown leather set that I am in love with! It is so elegant and beautiful and matches the decor perfectly. We did salvage the old love seat and chair and that is currently residing in the almost finished basement! Billy completed the floors and it looks amazing. He did such a great job. I'm so lucky to have such a handy man as my hubby! Sunday, we also celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary. SEVEN years! Holy Cow! That flew by! I still cant believe it was 7 years ago that I walked down the isle. We have learned so much in our 7 years together and I truly believe that our bond has grown stronger with time. Seven years and three gorgeous children, I couldn't be happier. I am so blessed to have this wonderful family of mine. From my immediate family to my extended family, I am one lucky gal! We are finishing out our week saying goodbye to two extended family members. My Auntie Jen's father Robert Warren and Billy's great Uncle Joe Gesualdi. Both lost their battles with cancer and yet, I am at peace knowing that they are no longer suffering and that they are now with the Lord. I would like to give mention to my girlfriend's new jewelry business. I currently own 4 pieces of my own custom designed pieces and I can say that I LOVE every single one of them. My girls as well were fortunate enough to receive a custom bracelet from Miss Andrea and they have yet, to take them off their arms. These pieces are not only fashionable and elegant... but they are truly beautiful. You can learn more at http://duchessdesignsbyandreaduchnowski.blogspot.com Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Cha Cha Louise (www.ChaChaLouise.com) and her gorgeous HANDMADE couture dresses and accessories for little girls. Both girls will be wearing custom Easter dresses and I am just dying to get their photos in them as these dresses are simply divine! If I only had a quarter of the talent my friend Sarah had... seriously. If I could afford to buy the whole store, I would! Last but not least, if you are looking for someone to market your business, check out ViaSoMedia@ www.viasomedia.com for some great social media advice! Hmmmmm you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I am surrounded by some extremely talented WOMEN! xoxoxo

Home - for my friend Jenn

So we have been home from our vacation for over a week now and to say I have yet to get out from under my depression funk, would be an understatement! LOL We had such a fantastic time that I truly did not want it to end. Not in the least bit. My parent's home in Naples is absolutely, breathtakingly, GORGEOUS! I loved every inch of it, especially "OUR" guest room! I felt like I was in a hotel the entire time we were there. The best part was being able to spend time with Mom & Dad. That to me, was the greatest gift. It was wonderful to see Mom so happy and fantastic to finally get some much needed bonding time with my Dad. To be able to smoke our cigar together at night and ponder the world's problems! I am such a Daddy's girl.

Of course there were a few bumps along the way. No sooner did we get off the plane Sunday evening and get the kids settled in bed, my Layla woke up with a 104 fever. It lasted for 5 days and then finally broke. She had no other symptoms and aside from being fussy, she really was a trooper about it. I did take her to the hospital on Marco Island to be sure that there wasn't a complication from her ear tube surgery she had a few days prior to us leaving. Yet, everything checked out so it obviously had to be a virus.

We spent tons of time in the pool with the kids, which they adored. We took walks and went for ice cream. We went to the Naples Zoo which was fantastic. What a pretty zoo and Mom got to see her beloved giraffes. We took a dozen trips to Walmart to stock our supplies..lol We ate our breakfast and had our coffee out on the lanai. We relaxed, we played and we enjoyed every single second of the most gorgeous weather.

On Friday, we got up super early and piled into the minivan and headed up to Orlando. (YES, I was able to drive a minivan.. and loved every single second of it) We met Grammy, Grampy and Auntie Jill up there and headed on out to Animal Kingdom. This was my first time in Animal Kingdom and I thought it was phenomenal. I would have loved to have had more time to spend in this park and to be able to see it in it's entirety. Hannah had a blast riding the Mt. Everest roller coaster. I think she and Billy went on it three times. She too, is a Daddy's girl!

Saturday we spent the entire day in the Magic Kingdom. I swear there is no place better. Unfortunately it was extremely crowded and Layla had a tough time adjusting to the masses of people. Yet, we still enjoyed ourselves and took in as much as we could before the park closed at midnight. Hannah was able to be dressed and made up to be a pirate. Something we just stumbled upon after coming off the "Pirate's of the Caribbean" ride. This was worth every penny and she had a BLAST! I was finally able to catch the firework display at night. Layla lit up at the sight of Tinkerbell on the float during the parade. Surely it doesn't matter how old you are, Disney is still the most magical place on earth.

Sunday we went to Hollywood Studios before making our trek back to Naples. From "The Little Mermaid", to "The Tower of Terror".. the thrills were all about us. I even finally was able to get on "The Rocking Roller coaster" for the first time ever. SO FUN! I wish I could have done it a million times! We all had such a great time and I cant even begin to explain how GOOD my Cameron was! He just rolled with it all. My happy little guy!

So I happily cross that one off my "Bucket List". To be able to take all three kids to Disney with both sets of grandparents was truly a very special moment in time for me.

We headed on back to Naples and then spent Monday at the pool before gearing up for our trip home. I really cant say enough about how much I love Naples. Of course I cried like a baby leaving my parents. I still get all teared up thinking about how it will be another month before I am able to physically hug them again. Although we talk every day.. it is still tough on us to have them so far away.

Now here we are, a week out from being home and I still have that "I want to go BACK" feeling in my gut! LOL I have been keeping busy with work and cleaning our entire house. Did I say "Cleaning" ? I meant SCRUBBING AND THROWING OUT every last bit of clutter! Remember when I said I would never Spring Clean? I take it back. I am Spring Cleaning my butt off! After being in my parent's home for a week, we got home and realized we had been slacking quite a bit! So now we are on a rampage to declutter, organize and scrub the entire house! It does make me feel good to finally have a chance to clean all the things I keep trying to ignore. Only a few rooms left and then my mission will be complete.. then we can concentrate on PAINTING! LOL Does it really ever end?

My little love bug Cameron has somehow found himself fighting off a bout of pneumonia and an ear infection. Something he had to have picked up on the plane. I originally thought it was just a cold, but as his fever rose over the weekend and his sleep habits totally changed, I decided to take him in yesterday. The poor little bug. He is so not himself. Hopefully after a few more doses of the antibiotics, he will be back to his happy self. I will say that he took the nebulizer treatments a gazillion times better than Miss Layla ever did! She saw me get out the machine last night and FREAKED! It took me five minutes to calm her down and explain this time it was for Cameron and not her.

Heading out to an art show tonight for my Hannah banana meatball. A piece of her artwork was chosen to be displayed amongst several school systems to honor Art Month. She is so excited and so are we! As it stands she has decorated our dining room with pieces of art that she creates on a daily basis. (Only allowed because we know we are painting it in the near future) However, I think with this talent of hers, we will need to find a place to display her creativity!

So that is it in a nutshell. Plugging forward and hoping for some nice Spring weather in the near future. Gearing up for some outdoor photo shoots as well. Counting down the days til I can get outside and have some fun with the kiddos!

I will post some photos from home this evening as they are all on that computer!

Love to you all!

xoxoxo

Giving Back - Support Michael

I know I have said this time and time again, so please forgive me for being repetitive. However, I would be remiss in not acknowledging the fact of how blessed I am to have these three, gorgeous, HEALTHY babies in my life. Yes, Hannah is six, but she still is and will always be my baby. My miracle baby at that. These three babies are what get me through the days, weeks and months. There is not a moment that goes by when I don't think of how wonderful my life has been with them in it. I long to keep them little.. I long to protect them from harm...I long to have them to snuggle with forever and ever. Without them, there would be a hole in my heart. They are what make my life complete. They are and always will be the greatest gift I could ever receive.

That being said, how could I not give back. How could I not pay it forward? As long as I am able, I am committed to giving back out of supreme gratefulness for all that I have. Recently I was introduced to a group on Facebook through a friend. It was about a young boy who is battling cancer. There is a fundraiser being held this summer in order to raise funds for his treatment. Cancer is a demon. It is awful for an adult to endure... for a child, it is cruel. No child should ever have to fight this demon. I am very passionate about helping to fight this demon. I fell in love with little Layla Grace Marsh a year ago and read her story daily. I cried with her parents and mourned her when she passed at the age of 2. Born only weeks apart from my own precious Layla Grayce. I never met this family. I never met their Layla. Yet, she touched my life in a way that I could never explain. Her amazing blue eyes and smiling face. She reminded me so much of my own Layla. Again making me realize how very fortunate I am to have my Layla here on earth with me.

So I am paying it forward and doing all that I can do to help a determined 12 year old boy named Michael, fight this Leukemia battle. I have offered my photography services for the event and I have sent gift certificates as well. Yet, there is still so much more to do and I am hoping that if you are reading this, you will be able to help too. Anything at all would be so very appreciated. Whether it be in the form of money, gift certificate, service or just spreading the word, I am asking that you help me, help Michael. I am hoping that you will find it in your heart to give back as well. I don't know Michael. I've never met his family. But I do know how great it makes my heart feel to fight this horrible disease with them. For more information about Michael and how you can help give back, you may email me at: Rianna002@aol.com or visit his Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Support-Michael/180750448628582

Michael's family has just set up this wonderful website! Please visit the link!

www.SupportMichael.com

THANK YOU!

xoxoxoxoxo

Punked?

Okay. What I am about to write, I solemnly swear, truly DID happen. I had to document this because I know how hilariously funny it is now, after the fact!



We pretty much spent the weekend on the couch. Layla started with the stomach bug Friday evening and began vomiting around 10:30 PM. From there, the poor child did not let up until about 9:00 PM on Saturday evening. It was a solid 24 hours of non stop, every 20 minutes or so, puking. I have never in all my life done so much laundry. From bedding, to blankets, to pillows, pj's... scrubbing carpets, floors and couches. On top of her being sick, Baby Cam was still having explosive diarrhea and was not feeling well himself. I was washing his crib bedding, clothes and blankets as well. (Hannah at this point was the only one still standing.) I myself, started with the bug on Saturday, but didn't have it nearly as bad as poor Layla cakes did. Did I mention that Billy was working from 5AM to midnight? I was so not in a good place by Saturday night!

Sunday proved to be a bit better as the two little ones started coming out of it. Layla was still not eating, but I was getting some water in her. She was not having anything else and pushed away the ice pops I offered her. After bathing her in the morning, I noticed under her arm she had that Petechiae rash that she had about a year ago. Remembering how the doctor made me head straight to the ER after he saw it on her.. I began to get a little concerned. I kept an eye on it throughout the day and by evening it had spread. Her Pediatrician's office was not on call so I texted a good family friend who is an ER doctor out of state. She had me take her temperature which was 101.5 at the time and then suggested I take her to Hasbro. (I remember all too clearly that this particular rash can mean some dangerous conditions and it is better to be safe than sorry.) After talking to Billy, we agreed I would take her while he stayed home with the other two who at this point were sleeping.

We headed out around 9pm. As I begin to take a right onto the on ramp of the highway, the car in front of me sees black ice and hits the brakes. OYE. She did a 360 before ended up to the left of the ramp. In order to avoid hitting her, I tried my best to steer out of the way of her car (missed it by inches) but ended up high up on an icy snow bank.. less than a foot away from the lamp post. The way I landed, the rear left end of my car was the only part not in the bank and this part was sticking out onto the ramp. The left side is also where Layla sits.. behind me in her car seat. The car behind me somehow managed to avoid the two of us and sailed on through to the highway. I quickly made sure that Layla was okay.. which, I don't think she skipped a beat in the movie she was watching. She was completely unaffected. (THANK YOU LORD) The car that had hit the brakes pulled up to apologize. It was two young girls, maybe college age. I could tell she felt bad and she offered to pull up ahead and help me. At this point I knew I was stuck too good for any of us to get my car out. I also did not want these girls to risk their lives on an on-ramp where they could easily be hit by the oncoming traffic. I told her not to worry, I would get some help, as I didn't want her to get hurt.

I was shaking like a leaf at this point as so many things were going through my head. I was most afraid of someone ramming into my back left side where Layla sat. I contemplated changing her car seat to the other side, but this meant, undoing two car seats of which in this time frame, she would be left unprotected by any seat belt. So in time of crisis, I called Billy. He told me to hang up and call 911. Which I did. They put me through to the Sate Police who then asked me if I had $85 cash to pay a tow. I didn't have that much cash on me, so he suggested that I call AAA since I am a member. I hang up and call AAA who after leaving me on hold for 20 minutes, comes back to tell me that they wont be able to get a truck out to me for at least an hour. UM.. at this point, countless cars have driven by me and have come within inches of hitting me as they too. slid on the black ice. Others were sailing by beeping and honking their horns like complete.. A$$'s. (Sorry.. but I didn't see it as a funny matter). I was scared to death.. mostly because of Layla's safety. I was panicked because no police showed up to put their lights on to caution other drivers. Just as the woman is telling me it will be at least an hour an AAA truck happened to drive by with a car already on it's flatbed. (AGAIN.. THANK YOU LORD) He got out and hooked the chains up to tow me out as fast as he could. He told me what to do as he towed me out. Yet, all of a sudden the car started to tip towards the left side. At this point, any calmness that I may have still had about me.. well.. I lost it.. I lost it all! I started screaming like a banchie for him to stop. It took a few screams but he finally heard me. (I am sure he thought I was insane by this point). NO way was I going to take the chance of the car tipping on the left side and Layla getting hurt. No way. I grabbed her out of the car and started up the ramp to where the traffic had now piled up because they couldn't get by. Slipping and sliding and holding Layla, I walked up to the first car...which had a car seat... (safe I thought).. I asked the gentleman if he would mind driving my car while the tow tried to get it out. He was so kind and offered to do it without a second thought. He put the heat on in the car for us to sit. I hesitated,, but thought what could possibly happen if the guy was in my car and we were in his. Plus it was freezing and Layla was cold. After a few tries, they got my car out. Once again, Layla and I were safely back on our way to Hasbro... (This is seriously not a lesson in not talking to strangers, but sometimes.. there are real good people in this world)

We got through the ER pretty quickly and got settled in a room. Layla was a trooper during the entire process and although inserting the IV was a bit dramatic for her, once it was in she calmed right down. It did of course help that they found her a Scooby Doo dvd. They did all the appropriate blood work and it all came back negative for any of the "bad" things associated with the Petechiae rash. (THANK YOU LORD... I am seeing a trend here.. the guy really takes care of us!) She was however really dehydrated so they started her on IV fluids. Within a few hours I saw a complete difference in her so I was very glad we had gone. After we were finally released I headed out to the Valet Booth to hand them my ticket. We waited outside a few and then moved into the waiting area as it was freezing out. After waiting at least 20 minutes for my car, the valet came in and told me that he was sorry... he tried repeatedly but my car wouldn't start. Now subconsciously.. I sort of had this thought in my head already that there was something wrong with my car after waiting so long. I mean, it was stuck in an icy snow bank.. why would it start? I laughed..literally at the valet. I swear he thought I was a loon.. but seriously, how much more could go wrong in one night? Yet, here he was thinking my battery was dead and here I was thinking... no buddy.. it's probably so much worse than that. He asked if I had someone to jump the battery. It was 3:00AM.. I did not. So he said I would have to sign a consent to have them do it and he called security to take us up to the car. Then he hands me "my" keys. Guess what... they were NOT my keys. I told him so and he said, "You don't drive a blue Mazda?" No sir, I do not. LOL ... Please could you go get MY car because I am about to explode in a fit of laughter after the events of this night and then you will have me admitted to RI Hospital.. for sure. Thankfully, my car was fine and I loaded the ravioli in and got home safety and without any more incident.

At different points in the evening, I swear I expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me and tell me I was being Punked! I will tell you that I find it all quite funny now, especially knowing that Layla's blood work came back fine. All in all things could have been so much worse and I know that we were being watched over from above. Thank you to all my angels up there. You certainly took care of us.

Layla is still not doing well however. She woke up this morning with her face all swollen and puffy. She was so not herself today and well I hate to say this.. but she was flat out wretched. I have never seen her this fussy. By mid afternoon I noticed her wheezing and decided I should take her in to the Pediatrician. Her asthma was definitely acting up so we are upping all of her inhalers and trying to keep her off steroids if we can. I can't imagine how horrible her mood will be if we do have to put her on them. I have to call the Dr. in the morning and let her know how our night went and make a decision from there. She also noticed her left ear was infected so we were suppose to get a Zpac for that.. but when Billy went to pick it up, the pharmacy had no record of it so it looks like we will be trying to get that in the morning as well. I ended up giving her a dose of Benadryl tonight because her eyes were getting very red and puffy and looked like they had hives on them. Do you think the child is sleeping yet? Nope.. the kid just defies all the odds. Needless to say, I had to cancel her ear tube surgery for tomorrow. There was no way she could go under anesthesia under these circumstances.

So that is my life for the past several days in a nutshell.. Hoping the next several days get a bit better!

Thanks again to my angels.. I love you! xoxoxo

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Does it seem as though every time I blog, my kids are sick? Hmmm maybe that is because my kids are sick ALL THE TIME! LOL Despite my loading them up with fruits, vegetables and vitamins... they somehow always seem to catch something and catch something often..sigh. Poor Cam has a nasty virus and has been exploding his diaper out every hour or so since yesterday. He started vomiting last night but thankfully that has subsided today. Yet, through it all he is still my darling, little, happy boy! God I love him so much. What a completely different experience to raise a son. He is so very good natured and much more advanced motor wise than my girls. He has already begun to crawl at 7 & 1/2 months! He has begun the Ma Ma and Da Da babble as well. AND he is the only one to have said MA MA first! Just saying! LOL


Miss Layla also has a taste of the bug. Her's seems to be more of a high fever and belly ache. She has spent most of the day on the couch watching SCOOBY DOO... Where are you! She hasn't eaten a meal since yesterday morning but is thankfully taking her special formula to keep her hydrated. This child is an utter joy. Her personality is second to none. She is quick witted, cute as a button and extremely disobedient lately... the last part we are trying to nip in the bud. It is sometimes so very difficult to reprimand her because as you are talking stern to her, she'll look you right in the face and say, "Mommy... you're fired!" The kid is a trip! The things that come out of her mouth are priceless. She came up to me yesterday all exasperated saying, "Mommy, it's a miracle! I found my baby doll!" Her verbiage is just hilarious. Thankfully she still says, "Hold you Mommy, hold you." So glad I still have that one! :) This little ravioli will be following her sister's suit and will be getting ear tubes put in on Wednesday. Hoping that this cuts down on the constant ear infections and the constant antibiotics. I wasn't sure what to do with her, but her doctor made some very good points. Due to her asthma and respiratory issues, she really needs to save her antibiotic treatments for when she has these breathing issues and infections. To be having her on all this antibiotics for ear infections will make her immune to them for when she really needs them for the more serious breathing issues. Made total sense to me! Praying that the tubes diminish the ear infections so we can get her back on her feet!


Miss Hannah banana meatball is growing like a weed! Seriously, if she falls asleep on the couch or in the car, I can't even carry her anymore! I have to wake her up! She is just so grown up that it really depresses me sometimes. There is no more "little girl" in her anymore. There's no more princess and fairy tales. She thinks she is a rock star. It kills me. No more flowy dresses and fancy shoes. It's all about the black leggins and rock star shirts. OHHH Mon Dieu! I am so brought right back to my own childhood and all the battles I would have with my mother over this very same isssue!!!! (and in my head I hear... " I hope your kids do to you, what you do to me.") For the most part, I let her be her own person. Within reason of course. She is doing tremendous in school and received a fantastic report card this quarter. Complete with an "Outstanding" in spelling! All that studying has got her 100% on every test! She is maturing so much in dance as well. I can't believe the difference a year has made. She is so much more focused and she has gotten so much stronger! I watch her gracefulness in awe and remember how very much I use to love dancing. (Although we do reserve time every week to groove on down and I bust a move with them on several occasions!) On the flip side.. she is growing even stronger in hockey. Her skating is unbelievable! I still shake my head at having a dancing, hockey player! LOL


Other than that, we have just been getting buried in snow, sleet & ice. Literally. I dont remember having a winter this cold and with as many storms as we have had. We are gearing up for another tomorrow. For the most part, I have found the snow covered earth very beautiful and peaceful. This last sleet/ice storm however.. I was not very fond of. Thinking I may be tiring of it all real soon.


We lost Pa Sutcliffe last week. He was 87 about to be 88. He was a true hero in my eyes. A gentleman to the core. An amazing American with so many wonderful attributes. His wake went on for longer than an hour after the calling hours ended. There were lines and lines of people waiting to pay their respects to him. This spoke volumes to me. He is so going to be missed. This was Pete's worst fear, that his grandfather would pass while he was serving our Country in Kuwait. I am so sorry he wasn't able to say good-bye the way he had wanted. I do know, that Pa is still surrounding us with his love and watching over us from above. He is a man that many could learn a thing or two from just by following his example. I plan to do just that!


In closing, I just wanted to share a little information that I received yesterday via a friend. (Thank you Allison!) There is a local family in Lincoln, RI that is in need of help. They are planning a fundraiser to raise funds to help their 12 year old son, Michael fight cancer. I have said this many times throughout this blog but I am about to say it again. I haven't had it easy with my children's health.. that is for sure. Especially with Hannah, when we almost lost her as an infant. But I got a second chance. God healed her for me and I will never, ever forget how truly blessed I am to have these three "healthy" kids. Ear infections can be fixed, viruses go away. Cancer is evil and rocks you to your very core. To hear of yet another child fighting this disease frustrates me to no end! I would be ignoring all the good Lord has given me, if I didn't choose to help. I'm asking that you do to. No amount is too small. A gift certificate, a donated service... anything at all will help. Please visit the link to learn more and keep this family in your prayers!


http://http//www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Support-Michael/180750448628582


Here are some pics of Miss Ravioli that we took for my friend Sarah's Cha Cha Louise clothing line... visit her site for some GORGEOUS handmade vintage clothing for little girls! http://www.chachalouise.com/

Never Grow Up

This will go down in the books as being my all time favorite song

"Never Grow Up"

Taylor Swift

Your little hands wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight

To you, everything's funny

You got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have honey

If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you

Wont let no one break your heart

No one will desert you

Just try to never grow up

Never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies

And you're mortified your mama's dropping you off

At 14, there's just so much you can't do

And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block

Remember that she's getting older too

And don't lose the way that you dance

around in your PJs getting ready for school

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow

It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned

Nothing's ever left you scarred

Even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room

Memorize what is sounded like what your dad gets home

Remember the footsteps, remember the words said

And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment

In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on

Wish I'd never grown up

I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up

Wish I'd never grown up

Could still be little

Oh I don't wanna grow up

It could still be simple

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

And even though you want to,

please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up

Just never grow up

We Miss You Pete! xoxoxo

This article was written about our dear friends, Pete, Tammi and Miss Brenna. You can visit the link to see the video.

http://www.projo.com/news/content/THE_HOMEFRONT_12-30-10_OCLL39F_v14.426c05.html


War hits home for family of newly deployed captain from R.I. National Guard / Video
08:32 AM EST on Thursday, December 30, 2010
By Tom MooneyJournal Staff Writer
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SMITHFIELD –– On a snowy evening, the Christmas lights shine outside Tammi Lawrence’s home. A tree stands in the family room. A tray of goodies, from Tammi’s cookie swap at work, awaits someone’s attention at the kitchen counter. But look closer.
Something’s awry.
That’s Tammi dragging out the trash barrel and recycling bin to the curb. She hates that chore the most. And that’s her father-in-law pulling into the driveway every morning. He takes 4-year-old Brenna to preschool and has promised to clear the walk this winter with the snowblower he’s dropped off. During the big post-Christmas snowfall a family friend interceded and “plowed and shoveled me out,” she said.
Look at those outside lights again. That’s half what Peter Lawrence usually hangs for Christmas. Haven’t seen him around. And the Christmas tree? Brenna complains it’s short this year and fake. She wants a big, real fir.
Extra
R.I. National Guard fights battles abroad and at home
“When Daddy gets home,” Tammi has had to tell her daughter.
Until then, she explains, “we’re trying to do everything simple.” You have to when “you’re the only one.”
A new year dawns and with it Tammi Lawrence is learning to deal with new, painful emotions.
Two protracted wars drag into a new decade with scant notice from many Americans. She’s no longer one of them.
In September, her husband, Peter Lawrence, 35, a captain with the National Guard’s 103rd Field Artillery Battalion, deployed for the first time, something he’d been wanting and something Tammi hoped would never happen.

Tammi Lawrence is managing Christmas alone in Smithfield this year with daughter, Brenna, age 4, while her husband, Peter, is deployed in Kuwait with the Rhode Island Army National Guard’s 103rd Field Artillery Battalion. The Providence Journal / John Freidah
Like that, war reached their threshold.
“This war has been going on for years and to me, people are numb to it,” she says. “Unless you’re in it, I mean.”
“We’re no different from other [deployed] families,” she says. “But it’s new to me so I feel like I’m the only person.”
She feels worse for Peter. “I have my daughter, I have my family. He just went through a sad period of not seeing his daughter. He really misses her.” And there’s little solace in finding distractions beyond his Kuwaiti headquarters: “There’s no trees, no water. All there is is desert as far as you can see.”
Some 50,000 troops remain in Iraq. Many are supported through supply lines stretching back into Kuwait. Captain Lawrence, whose grandfather flew P-47 fighters over Europe in World War II, whose father served in the Army during Vietnam, directs security missions for those truck convoys. He loves his job. He’s served in the Guard since he was a teenager.
Two years ago he took a risk and opened his own small Nationwide insurance agency in North Providence. While he set off to build a business, Tammi went about being a school nurse at Wilbur Elementary in Somerset, Mass.
“We worked and then we did our home stuff together,” says Tammi, “and we didn’t pay attention to that” — the war.
Then word came. The Lawrences had nine months to plan before their lives turned upside down.
Peter trained a good friend to run his new business. His dedicated secretary still refuses to take a day off. Nationwide called the office the other day asking what it could do to help Tammi at home. The company made arrangements to help with the oil bill.
Tammi and Peter e-mail daily. They use Skype often, seeing and talking to each other through computers. On weekends, Tammi sets up the computer at Peter’s parents so they can see their son, too.
Technology keeps them all connected but reminds them, too, of the distance between them; eight more months on Peter’s deployment.
Members of a family support group told Tammi that “you will notice that people just don’t think it’s a big deal that your husband is away.” That has come true on occasion, she says.
“It’s really bizarre. They’ll say, ‘How’re you doing’ and that’s it. But everyone is busy with their own lives. So I don’t think they know what to do. I don’t even know what I want them to do –– besides take out my trash,” she says, laughing.
Peter took care of the outdoor chores, the car-oil changes, the shoveling. She handled things inside. Now she tries to do both.
Not long ago little Brenna watched her friend being picked up by her father. “Please pick me,” she asked. “Pick me up, too.”
Nights are the hardest for them both. Too much time to think about him gone.
Now rather than brace for Brenna’s crying, Tammi has devised a new routine: they make popcorn together and then play the Candy Land board game over and over until they’re both sleepy.
No war news enters Tammi’s house, no pictures of soldiers in uniform. “We do a lot of Christmas specials here.”
The family set an empty seat for Peter at Thanksgiving. His dress uniform coat hung from the back of a chair. Three framed photographs sat among the silverware and plates: Peter in fatigues, with his rifle slung over his shoulder; Peter holding Brenna when she was 2; a family portrait of the three of them on vacation.
Peter called precisely at 2 p.m. local time as the family was preparing to sit down. Everyone got a chance to talk to him.
“It was tough for everybody,” says Tammi, “but we got through it.”
Peter’s parents arrived at the house at 6 a.m. Christmas morning. T-Mobile loaned Tammi a laptop so Peter could Skype and watch his daughter open presents under that small, artificial tree.
“We’ll do it up big next year,” Tammi says.
Meantime, Peter is scheduled to come home on leave in April.
Brenna is already asking how many days away is that. …Tomorrow? Her parents are gently reminding her it’s only for a few days. Then Daddy’s going back to work.
And Tammi will still be taking out that trash barrel.
tmooney@projo.com

Happy New Year

Well we have somehow found ourselves on the other side of the Holidays and here it is January, 2011! Our Christmas was spectacular! Once I got to 4pm on Christmas Eve, everything just went so smoothly. We went to Christmas Eve Mass and then up to Foxboro to visit with my mother's side of the family. It's always a treat to see my Pepere and it was especially nice to meet my new cousin, baby Isabelle. From there we went to my sister in laws and got to visit with Billy's mother's side of the family. I don't think we got home before 10:30! Yet, for once it didn't matter because I knew we had NOWHERE to go on Christmas day and what a fabulous gift in itself that was!



I awoke at 7:oo am Christmas morning to three snoring kids. I tried to fall back to sleep but in all honesty.. I was way too excited and bewildered that the kids were actually still sleeping! So I lay there for about a half hour before I went downstairs and put all the Christmas lights on and the Christmas music. I came back upstairs trying to make as much noise as possible and yet.. not a single one stirred! by 7:45 I couldn't wait any longer and I went into Hannah's room and gave her a kiss. She woke up, looked at me for a millisecond and then hopped out of bed in one leap and started heading for the stairs! I laughed and told her she had to help me wake the others first.



Their faces were priceless as they scanned over all of their gifts. The very moment I had been waiting for. The girls adore their Barbie Mansion and have yet to go an hour without playing with it. Cameron was actually unwrapping his own gifts at age 6 months! Granted he was trying to eat whatever paper he could get to his mouth... but still.. he has such good coordination already. To keep tradition alive I had also prepared my mother's Christmas Breakfast Braid, for the first time. Just the smell of it put me back to when we were kids and how wonderful our Christmas mornings would be. I am so grateful to have three, gorgeous children to carry on these family traditions. We had such a lovely, laid back morning that I didn't want it to end. There was no rushing around or hurrying into showers. I was able to take it all in and I can assure you that it felt so very good.



Our guests began to arrive around 2pm. This too ran so perfectly. There was no rush to sit down to eat or to get through courses. My turkey ... ohhhh it came out unbelievable! I have NEVER tasted a turkey so good. (To be honest, Billy actually went back to BJ's the day after Christmas to try and get another because all 20lbs of that bird went!) The dinner was just scrumptious. By mid-day I could tell the girls were starting to get watery eyes and sniffles and they quickly changed into their jammies, took some Tylenol and were able to carry on in the festivities. It was so perfect to have the family gathered around at our home. It is surely a memory I will cherish forever and I look forward to hosting many more Christmas dinners.



The day after Christmas I had Baby Aria's Baptism. What a beautiful ceremony and a beautiful Church. It was so wonderful to see baby Aria, Sara and Ethan and I even got to meet my girlfriend Val's new little Josephine. She is a doll! Her Gabriel is also getting so big so quickly. Cameron came with me to Church and he was so very good. So glad that I could be a part of that special day. As the snow came in we went on over to my parents to exchange gifts and spend time together and I think I even got to take a 20 minute snooze!



From there it all went down hill. The kids all ended up sick and so did I. I made it to work on Tuesday and then from there on out, I couldn't move. Everything hurt. To be honest, everything still hurts. The kids all had fevers, sore throats, chest coughs, drippy noses and my whole body just ached. It had to have been the flu as we barely got off the couch all week. Today is the first day I have managed to wear normal clothes and get my butt to work, although I am still feeling miserable. I have an appointment after work to get checked and I am hoping to get to the bottom of whatever this is and feel better! I feel so guilty for not being able to do anything fun and exciting with the kids during school break. Yet, at the same time I was so grateful for the rest and cuddles with them.



Yesterday I dusted off my "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook and I have vowed to get my family eating healthy with the proper fruits and vegetables. I am hoping that eating the right nutrients and a well balanced diet will help to keep the entire family healthy and germ free. I have to start somewhere and eating right needs to be it. The next thing we are adding on will be exercising again.



On an extremely sad note, my brother in law Dan's father passed away last Thursday very unexpectedly. I am still in shock as it was just on Christmas Eve that I had seen him last. It doesn't make sense and I can only imagine how Dan feels. He was such a sweet, full of life, type of person with the most amazing, twinking blue eyes I have ever seen. On Christmas Eve I went into Dan and Leanne's family room to greet him and his wife Jean and I was teasing them about being all cozy romantic on the couch by the fire. I just can't believe that less than a week later, he is gone. I am keeping the entire DeMarco Family in my prayers. My Faith tells me that he is in a better place, watching his family from above. May God Bless this entire family and help them through this terrible loss.